Let’s face it; not everyone is as lucky as BZFLAG who has a Jon who shares her passion for travelling. A significant other whom you can skydive, bungee jump and surf with, who won’t mind if he doesn’t get enough sleep (or doesn’t sleep at all) because of traveling, a partner who is comfortable seeing you in a tank top that you’ve worn for the last three days (because you’ve already used all of your clothes and there’s nowhere you can wash them at the moment!). The stars must have aligned if you were able to find someone like this.
The thing is, your partner may not be as enthusiastic as you are when it comes to travelling. Sure, he will join you for a trip, but it doesn’t mean he’s okay camping out and sleeping in a tent under the gazillion stars. While you’re into trying out so many adventurous stuff, he would rather stay in the hotel room and watch NBA.
So how do you deal with this type of people? Should you break up? Well, the easy answer is yes! You’re going to meet a lot of new people (and hopefully you can do naughty stuff with) while on the road so it won’t take long for you to find another. But if you’re still into your man (woman in my case. LOL) and you believe in the power of love, here are some advice to help you in your relationship:
1. Find out why the hell he/she doesn’t want to travel
It’s one of the most exciting things that spices up life so why is he not into it? Was he traumatised because he was nearly kidnapped when he was a child while travelling to an exotic island and was almost sold to the Mafia as a sex slave? Is he still having nightmares about it? Is he afraid to leave the comfort zone of his home and work? Is it because of the time and money? Does he have so many bills to pay and does not have enough savings for travel?
There could be some reasons why travelling doesn’t appeal to him, so it’s a good start to know about this so you’ll know what to work on.
Sidenote: If it’s about the money, check this POST. This will give you tips on planning and save for your travels
2. Slowly encourage him/her to travel
Don’t go asking him to skydive right away! All hell will surely break loose if you expect him to try extreme outdoor activities that you’re into immediately. Believe me; I learned this the hard way. My partner and I were in Tagaytay, and I was insisting that we try the zipline in one of the parks there. I totally ignored the fact that she’s afraid of heights so she got mad, I insisted, we argued, she nearly cried and the day didn’t turn out well for the both of us. So do not make the same mistake that I did!
Instead, slowly introduce to him the idea of travelling. Bring him to a place where you can both relax and just enjoy the time together. You can try going to Batangas or Boracay. I like these two because they offer a wide array of activities for adventure junkies like me and also for laid back people like my partner. You can also do simple activities together like snorkelling. Once your partner relaxes, you can motivate him to try more exciting activities. Before you know it, he’ll be the one inviting you to try more adventurous getaways.
3. Share amazing stories
Negative misconceptions often discourage many people from travelling. This is one of the reasons why my partner is a bit hesitant to explore Mindanao. With so many negative images shown in the media, it’s no wonder why Mindanao is out of her list of places to visit in the Philippines. However, when my friends and I visited the place, we were awestruck at how safe and peaceful it really was particularly in Davao. There was no war, no traffic, no flood, no garbage scattered everywhere and the Davaoenos were very warm and welcoming.
If you could erase these negative misconceptions from your partner’s mind, inviting him to join you in your trips will be easy-peasy! You can show him beautiful pictures of the place. Device clever ways of sharing good stories and experiences you gained from travelling. Give him peace of mind by assuring him that it’s safe and no matter what happens you’ll be by his side. Hopefully, this will make him reconsider his views about travelling to a far off place.
4. Pressure your partner to travel
Let your partner watch movies about traveling. Make him read blogs about couples who travel together. While you’re having breakfast, talk about how you have always wanted to visit this exotic island somewhere. Tell him about your best friend who just arrived from Camarines Norte with his boyfriend and how they had a great time camping at the beach in Calaguas Island. Show him that cute lion keychain that your officemate gave you when he went to Singapore. Give him a box of Vjandep Pastel that you bought from Camiguin, he’ll surely love it!
There are plenty of ways to pressure your partner to travel without really nagging him; you just have to be creative about it. Haha!
For a relationship to grow, both of you should learn to compromise. Respect each other’s limits. Meet halfway. If he’s not as outgoing as you are, then maybe you should slow down a little. Find out his interests, join him in his hobbies, this may be a great opportunity for you to learn new things. In return, you can ask him to join you in one of your beach escapades or trekking activities. Set aside your differences and be supportive of each other. Compromise is inherent in a relationship to work.
If none of this works, there’s always another option: just break the hell up! Haha!
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