Truth and Lies about Filipinas with Foreigners!

Truth and Lies about Filipinas with Foreigners!

BZFLAG Medina Inspiration and Love Stories, Travel Blog 364 Comments

(The Real Life Experiences and Criticisms of a Filipina dating a Westerner)

no not from a farmer

No, Jonathan didn’t buy me from a farmer!

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” ― Earl Nightingale

When I quit my job in the Middle East to start my backpacking journey, aside from the other reasons and lies I was telling myself and people around me about why I wanted to leave my corporate life, I actually left because I just wanted to have more time to understand myself, to love me and just to be with myself!

Unexpectedly, during a few days exploring Luang Prabang, Laos, I met Jonathan! If you’re traveling on your own, you’ll meet a lot of travelers – mostly European, and being a backpacker you shouldn’t expect another backpacker to take you to an expensive restaurant –  oh and he’s British btw. After few months of just keeping in touch on while I continued my solo backpacking, Jon and I decided to be officially together, and we’re now together for almost two years! I’m not lucky cuz I’m with a white man – we are BOTH lucky to have each other cuz we deserve the best!

Related Article: Are you planning to travel solo? Check out our DIY Travel Guides here and for cheap hostels around the world, check the list here.)

This is also for all the Filipinas who are being judged for dating a Foreigner instead of our Filipino men! Here are the most common misconceptions that I want to clear up – We would love to hear other Filipinas’ stories so please feel free to share your experience below !

Note: This is based on my personal experience and life story. I’m not generalizing, and if you can relate then awesome, if not, I didn’t intend to offend any of you.

1. I’m dating a Foreigner because I need a Visa or his British passport.

Yes, there are perhaps some Filipinas who have this reason but not in most cases! I was already travelling on my own long before I met Jonathan (well, I’ve met Jonathan while travelling!). Jonathan and I are both long-term travellers and us living and settling down in the UK couldn’t be further from our minds. We both want to buy land to build our very own yoga resort in the Philippines. In fact, Jon keeps asking me about how he can get a permanent resident’s visa in the Philippines. So maybe it’s actually foreign men who need the visa, not the Filipinas!

We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our  Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!? Ok, so they have more ‘free countries’ than us, but it balances out, because when they pay, they pay big! Also, if you travel in mostly Asian countries, having a has way more advantage than his, he has to pay more than me! UPDATE: We’re engaged and getting married next year! I will be getting a Long-term visa to visit UK but I’m not interested in getting a British passport or citizenship as what others are assuming because we don’t have any plans to live in the UK, as long as my future children will have dual citizenship then that’s great for us!

Even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport,  it’s their life choice. Why do you care?

2. I’m dating a foreigner because I need his money.

After completing my economics degree (in UPLB), I worked in the Middle East for four years before starting this journey. I funded my South East Asia backpacking trip with my savings then when Jon and I started living together, we always shared our expenses, from food, rent and everything (that’s the British way, in Tagalog “Kanya kanyang bayad!”).

Yep, unfortunately…wait for it…white people don’t actually shit money! Trust me, I’ve checked! When I met Jon, he had empty pockets and a $300 broken down motorbike. If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I must have been blinded by that magic white skin again!

When we decided to pursue our around-the-world backpacking journey together, we both worked hard to build our initial funds! I even had five freelance jobs at the same time in Hanoi, Vietnam as we wanted to save more than ever! I taught English, yoga classes to children and even handled the Marketing Department of a western-owned company while in Vietnam, oh did I mention that I won a?

He works, I work. He saves, I save. Equal partnership!

3. I’m only successful because of my foreigner partner.

No matter what success we experience, people might still think it’s because the Magic white man got us here. I want to be modest here, but straight to the point. Do you really think we Filipinas can’t be successful without the help of any man or even a foreigner? Do you realize that you’re actually insulting yourself?! Well, if you think so, shame on you!

This website was started by me, Jon wasn’t really into it, but with a little persuasion he joined in and started writing too. Now people like his writing and that’s great! We both became yoga teachers and Ayurveda massage therapists because of my crazy idea of supporting our long term travels. All of my teaching, volunteering and freelancing jobs have been through my own research, resourcefulness, and commitment. So don’t tell me that we Filipinas just stay at home, waiting for our partners to feed us!

Even if someone does decide to remain at home to look after the family and home, that’s a personal choice which also involves a lot of hard work.

4. If he marries me, he will marry and support my whole family.

Well, hello! Again, it may happen in some cases, but before marrying their Filipina wife, the foreigner must already have met the family, right? So it was their choice if you still want to marry despite the condition! Unless they slipped it in the wedding vows without him noticing, ‘…to have and to hold, to pay Lola’s medical bills…wait, WHAT THE F#%!$?!’ Unlikely…

We don’t all fit the stereotype, sorry. My parents are both Professional; my younger sister is also a Dentist while my younger brother is about to finish his University degree. We are not rich, but my family lives comfortably, and we were brought up to be independent. Meaning, if you want to do something, you work for it, and you shouldn’t depend on anyone else to just give it to you!

5.  The foreigner is dating me because he needs a slave.

Aha, so being and loving towards your partner means that you’re a slave? Oh that’s great! I wonder if these people ever stop to consider that these feelings and actions are returned by the man. British and most other westerners are  raised to be very independent. Most of them leave home at the age of 18 and up until then they do household chores; guys and girls! We share the cleaning in our house, but funnily Jon is better and faster at it than I am! Young western kids often have jobs when they are growing up, not because the family is poor, but to earn some of their own money and to get some real life experience and responsibility before leaving school. Jon even leaves the Do Not Disturb sign on the hotel room door because, ‘it feels weird having someone come and clean up after me!’

6. If you’re white, then you’re rich!

Huh! Not all White people are rich; this is a hangover of the American occupation. We’ve had complete independence since 1946 people, get the grip! Western countries have the range of incomes and living standards just like we do. If everyone was rich, who would clean the streets, or do menial tasks that no one else wants to do? Ahh western-style economics, making sure we always have someone poor enough to sweep the streets!

The only real difference is the higher value of their currency in the world, which just makes their own countries very expensive to live in and other countries cheaper to visit! But this only works if they earn money in one of the expensive countries.  It’s the same logic anywhere. And yes, poverty does exist in western countries, it just doesn’t the same impact in a news headline as a photo of a small brown child with flies on her face!

7. Only desperate Filipinas are dating Foreigners!

I’ve dated Filipinos before and was even in a long-term relationship with one!  It’s pretty annoying when people say that “if you can’t find a good Filipino then just look for a foreign man.”  This is also stupid; there are plenty of amazing, loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world. There are good and bad in every country; nationality has very little to do with it!

Again, maybe some Filipinas marry out of desperation, but this could happen in any country, not just in the Philippines.

On the other hand, if you told me that I was only with a  foreigner for his genes, then I might be inclined to agree. I would love our children to have Jon’s blonde hair and blue eyes, with slightly tanned Filipino skin…That might look a bit weird, to be honest, but we’ll let you know when we have some proof! We all know that most of the stars in the Philippines are half and half, perhaps we can make the next Anne Curtis, Sam Milby, and Alden Richards.

Well, I don’t know your reasons why you’re dating your foreign man, I’m dating this foreigner because I love him! Cheers to all Independent Women out there! 


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Comments 364

  1. i dont understand why people marry pinay.when ur visiting a brothel(philippines) just enjoy the girl and pay for it,ur not supposed to marry whores(pinay).
    no self respecting man in his right mind marry a pinay.only old men above 70 or handicapped guys should search for pinay.becouse they get a cum bucket+servant.

    1. Your comment is not only way off base but also shows the disgusting human being that you are… I married a Filipina, I am not 70, I am not disabled and we are living happily in the Philippines.. My wife is the most loving, caring woman I have ever met… Much different than North American white women… Sadly you seem to either looking in the wrong place or for the wrong thing… Spending your time in a brothel shows what kind of degenerate you are

    2. I once told myself I would never fall in love with a foreigner and one of the reasons was the stereotype and how Filipinas with foreign partners are being looked at. But what can I do? I fell inlove with the most awesome man I have ever met. I am actually older than him (I do look younger though hahaha). Three years difference doesn’t say much at all. I believe no matter how big or wide the age gap is, as long as it’s true love, then all is good. I will soon be moving in with him, and I was in fact hesitating on leaving behind my career here. I was planning to take my PhD before I met him, I have a stable job, I would definitely miss my dogs!!! But I realized that once you meet that one person that makes your life complete, gives you butterflies and “kilig”, makes you happy so easy, and ultimately make you a better version of yourself, then all your priorities in life begin to change. Oh yes! I am so inlove with him! But hey, yes I am a Filipina by race, but above all, I am a woman in love. 🙂

  2. I was with a foreigner for almost 2 years I did everything for him like a wife btw I never chat/meet to other guy and I didn’t ask him for anything in return he didn’t even give me presents and I didn’t complain about it, the only reason why I did that all is because I love him and now he left me because he will marry another girl so not all Filipinas are liars, materialistics, cheaters so don’t use the word “all”.

  3. Most Filipinas are liars, scammers and cheats. Arnie Avila and Lelian Liban Linsag are just 2 of them though few more can be seen under with the reasons why they lie, cheat and scam where the main reason is Money

    1. Saying most filipina are liars hurt me? I dont know if you do check every filipina in my land..like other race,you can find liars and cheater…

  4. I’ve dated several Filipinas. Every time I try to post on this site the moderators delete my post because they don’t like it. Every Filipina I know and have dated were materialistic, and could care less if you are a kind, compassionate human being or not. They see everything as an exchange for service or presence. Their entire mindset is “what am I getting out of this?” I dated one for 4-months. Had a great time together, passionate, happy and one day she started asking about my retirement, how much my salary was, etc. I told her what teachers make in Arizona and her exact words “I make more than that!” She was gone…4-months of what I thought was an excellent relationship…all over $. I know one I dated not long ago who told me how her X-husband slowly moved all of his assets, liquidating them, before he divorced her. She ranted about getting out schemed for a two hour date. I just sat there thinking…”wow! They are all the same.” Sorry….no doubt this will get pulled by moderators too, but it is the truth. If you want hustled and stone cold…get a Filipina. I’m telling you, think with your brain gentlemen…..what would a 25 year old Filipina want with a 45 year old westerner? Open your eyes. A friend of mine from school got hustled out of his entire pension by a 25 year old Filipina. She talked him in to building a home there…in her name because you can’t buy and own as a westerner. Next thing he knew her whole family was living in it.

    1. I am a filipina and i am engaged to a Swedish guy… and i can tell you, you might have been looking for your match in the wrong places. Im a nurse and i am working as well. My fiance owns his own company so it would have been easy for me to just sit and ask. But not all filipinas are like the ones you have met. If you actually choose to mingle with people from a decent upbringing, then this would have never been an issue in the first place…

    2. You got the important points girl! Sad to say that’s exactly the mindset of other Filipinos, maybe because of jealousy, insecurities or they are just a judgemental person, but whatever they would say, I would just say. I DON’T CARE! Get a life and mind your own business! Lol
      I am 28 and my Dutch bf is 43. I love him so much despite of our age gap. I feel in love with him because of how amazing he is and not because of his wealth or visa and we never ever or I never even asked or talked about money. If ever will get married, I will still have to work so whenever my family ask for money I still can support them without depending on him. I am not a kind of person who loves spending and wasting others hard earned money. It does’nt mean you have a foreigner means you are rich or he is rich. It just happens that their money got a very high value when converted in peso. In terms of what they are saying “He just married you to become his maid”. Hello? Excuse me? They were raise independently and they can do the housechores without us and can do better than us. If beiNg a stay at home wife doing all the house chores w/ a foreign husband and living to other country makes us as a maid then we are not different to the wives in the Philippines.

    3. U have still bitterness mr.michael..im Filipina too,26 yrs old..and i don’t think 45or47 was a big difference when u love someone…in right time u will find ur true one..godbless 😊😊😊

    4. Hi, reading your comment made me sad although i myself agree that there are more than enough women and men here in the Philippines who prefer money than true love but there are still those who are the exact opposite. I hope you find a decent Filipina, if you find the right one, you won’t regret it.

  5. I’ve dated several Filipinas. Every time I try to post on this site the moderators delete my post because they don’t like it. Every Filipina I know and have dated were materialistic, and could care less if you are a kind, compassionate human being or not. They see everything as an exchange for service or presence. Their entire mindset is “what am I getting out of this?” I dated one for 4-months. Had a great time together, passionate, happy and one day she started asking about my retirement, how much my salary was, etc. I told her what teachers make in Arizona and her exact words “I make more than that!” She was gone…4-months of what I thought was an excellent relationship…all over $. I know one I dated not long ago who told me how her X-husband slowly moved all of his assets, liquidating them, before he divorced her. She ranted about getting out schemed for a two hour date. I just sat there thinking…”wow! They are all the same.” Sorry….no doubt this will get pulled by moderators too, but it is the truth. If you want hustled and stone cold…get a Filipina. I’m telling you, think with your brain gentlemen…..what would a 25 year old Filipina want with a 45 year old westerner? Open your eyes. A friend of mine from school got hustled out of his entire pension by a 25 year old Filipina. She talked him in to building a home there…in her name because you can’t buy and own as a westerner. Next thing he knew her whole family was living in it. If you want passion and someone who will literally fight for you go Latina…but be ready for her to be all over you about where you were, why did it take so long…trust me!

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  6. Hi, I have the same problem. I met a guy he is Australian and then, some people started talking about how Filipinas are gold diggers. Even my ex-friends were asking me if my intentions and feelings are true. I hate it when people generalized and stereotype “Filipinas” (Filipino women) as gold diggers and white supremacist. My husband is not rich. He works hard to pay for the bills. I work hard to pay for the bills. Its the same people. Both of us works hard to make ends meet. In fact my salary rate is higher than my husbands’. I love my husband greatly and he is my world and he loves me too. You cannot sustain a good relationship and understanding based on materialistic point of view. Yes of course, there are filipinas that do it for the wrong reasons but dont ever put all filipinas in a box with a label “GOLD DIGGERS”. Some of the comments I read in here is about how a filipina is intellectually challenge and some don’t have any skills. I am an educator. I worked as a teacher, professor in a university and a reading tutor. Who are you to say that filipinas are no skills and intelligence. It disgust me that a person could actually say that based on one or two women that he knows. I just want to be clear. Our love life is non of your business. if you have a miserable experience being with a filipina, maybe its your fault. Have you thought of that? grow a pair of balls and stop putting people in a box. Have a great life.

  7. I liked your post 🙂 I think some of the stereotypes have a slightly diminishing presence nowadays. But they are certainly still there. And they live in the minds of people on both sides of the ocean. I am from Belgium and my girlfriend is from the Philippines she will soon be 22 I just turned 26. I have visited her Island (Negros) in January, discovered the popular sights, enjoyed the beautiful nature and the great food. I met her family, who were very warm and hospitable. Most importantly, the time I spent with my girlfriend there is by far the best time of my life so far 🙂 I literally enjoyed every second of it and I know she did to. Now, my parents are really cool and they would support me in any decision I make regarding my life, but I am sure some of my friends and family share some baseless thought behind my back :P. And to be honest I don’t really care to much about it. I won’t like them any less for it, as long as they keep it to themselves. Time will tell them they are wrong 🙂 It’s nice to see a lot of positive reactions, However, when I see some girls here saying “I work job x and I am perfectly independent” I do feel it’s unfair that you would have to say/prove that still in the first place. Currently my girlfriend is not working (she did before but quit, as she is not in a position where she needs to help support family or anything), but she has her degree and she is smart 🙂 she want to have her own business someday and I know she can succeed at that. I will help her with that anyway I can. If she one day gives up on that idea I will be fine with that as well. Her most important goal is still to have a happy live together and the rest are just means to make it possible 🙂 If there is any financial aspect to the relationship, than it is that I secretly do like the idea that i think she will make me a much better saver 😀 I was really teasing her hard because I know she likes ukuleles, but she never gave in to my attempts to let me buy her one (she has an old guitar already 😛 she will play on it until it turns to dust I guess). If I think at how much useless stuff I have bought before that added no value to my life whatsoever, I can only admire her discipline :O. I am really proud to be able to call her my girlfriend. I know I will learn a lot from her and she from me still and I’m very excited about the future. There is simply no one that could make me happier than she does (even with some distance). I will visit her again next month and I hope soon we will be able to live together soon enough. I wish the best of luck to all other couples here!

    1. Keep it up. My sister is married to a Belgian. They started as pen pal in those days, till they finally met each other sending my sister to Belgium which my brother in law has paid all the expenses. My sister met his family with a warm welcome. The family of my brother in law teach her all the Belgian customs and traditions. They got married in Belgium, had 3 beautiful girls and live happily ever after.

  8. The truth is, it is the proof of the existence of Colonial mentality. As a non-Filipino male who lived in the pH for 7 years and has also resided in various parts of the world. It is highly rare to see a Filipina who is dating someone who IS NOT white (this is referring to Filipina immigrants).

    I am not against interacial dating/marriage, but the Filipina is becoming an excemption. They are viewed as white supremacists in most countries because 9/10 of the filipinas you’ll meet have white boyfriends/husbands.
    There is even a joke about his in NYC and LA, one guy posted a vector poster of the top white supremacists in the world. You had Trump, Bejamin Forest, and the Filipina.

    filipinas should not pride your culture because it’s highly ironic that you are so closed door on White guys that you even reject your own. “I love my heritage” my ass.. In about 30+ years, the majority of filipinos will be half white and likely oblivious to their own cultures.. A damn shame too since Filipinos have the most interesting one, being a mix of Asian and Spanish in culture.

    1. Hey, people have preferences. Some are attracted to dark skin, some white, some love olive/tan skin, some love black. It’s like saying you should only many short guys because you’re short/petite.

      Is it wrong if I find a white or dark, tall guy with Caucasian features very attractive? I honestly don’t think we pinays are racists. Many of us love blacks. We don’t treat them like some Americans do. Many of us find them hot.

  9. Would u admit u re a money digger when ur bf reads ur blog?
    Come on….

    I m not saying u re dishonnest or u lying
    Just that people used to say and act differently.

    That cedric seems full of hatred.
    Maybe scammed haha
    Filipina…or even filipino are not t more dumb or than anywhere else, u might be mista king with education.
    U seem like an old grumpy guy who didn’t get luck with his 20yo girl friends.

    Philippines are far from perfection, it s sometimes hard to cope for a westerner when everybody tries to scam , taxi, administration, vendors, real estate brokers, rental owner, etc etc….
    but pinays are not better nor worse than my country or yours.
    In USA, there are re t enough millionnaires for all us money diggers lol. But ll westerners are millionnaires…not hard, 1 million 20 0000euros,

  10. This article to me, seems to try to sell the Filipina women as women who do have a sense of true love.

    The author may have a good experience about her relationship but she tries to downplay the fact that MAJORITY of Filipinas do marry foreigners because of:

    >The parents want her to do so
    >She wants to be rich so that her poor parents can become rich
    >She wants good looking artistahin offspring.

    The author either wants to make Filipinas good to foreign men, or she is clueless on the sentiments of MAJORITY of Filipinas.

    Not a lot will admit it but a lot of Filipinas lack skills, talent, Responsibility, adaptability, and cognitive and intellectual capabilities.

    A lot of Filipinas prefer to enhance their physical looks than even be knowledgeable.

    That’s a fact. Not a lot will agree.

    Truth will always be ugly.

    Again the article brushes aside fact.
    She said “maybe in some cases”
    But fact is tgese cases are infinitely more prevalent than any of us will think.

    That’s why Foreigner-Filipina dating sites are prevalent here in the Philippines.

    Also most not all, of foreign men cannot handle the tenacity and independence and intellectual capacities of women from their own country so the prefer the weaker willed, less intellectually capable Filipina. That way they can easily be controlled.

    Trust me, MORE Filipinas prefer foreigners not for love as this fairy tale article suggests.
    Most Filipinas unfairly generalize Filipino men as useless heartless animals when they are just as heartless as well.

    Don’t stick your heads into the sand, face the truth.

    Our media shows preference for getting a foreign partner. The masses follow suit

    To the other comments below, bragging bout their foreign partners, come on, your making it sound emphatic when you say you all have them for pure love and Filipino men aren’t bad yet you have a foreign partner.

    And those comments about “Being unfairly judged”?

    Think!

    Judgment like this exists because it is more often than not, TRUE!

    That’s why its been like this anyway!!!

    Fact is one of my exes was taught by her mother to look for men with money specially foreigners!!!

    You know what, after she broke up with me, i found proof that she went out with 6 foreigners on different

    My aunt, wanted me to marry a foreign woman for money!
    Me? A Man? A Filipino? And a relative wants me to marry a foreigner?

    This proves that 10 to 20% of foreign partnerships are based on fraud.

    1. Generally speaking there are 3 classes in Filipino society, the HiSos (less than 5%), the Middle class (about 25%) and the rest (70%).

      The HiSos would not be caught dead speaking to a foreigner let alone getting romantically involved with one.

      The middle classes can usually find an acceptable husband amongst the Filipinos in their own class or are generally not motivated by the venal demands of their families or do not need to marry a foreigner if they want to work overseas because they are reasonably well educated an can get the jobs themselves.

      Its the other 70% (The Majority) that foreigners need to watch out for and be 100% certain of the Filipinas motivations in wanting to marry them especially if she is more than 10 years younger than the foreigner because generally they or their family do want your money or a Visa.

    2. For Cedric,

      You can’t blame Filipinas if they fall in love with foreign men. In your life, were you able to try wooing or courting a foreign woman? In the foreigners I’ve dated, ofcourse, at first it was physical attraction. But what made the relationship last is the connection we had in conversation, hobbies, traveling together and mostly because they find me sincere, intelligent yet soft.
      I tried dating back with Filipino men and all I get is judgment(mostly because I am morena and they like mestiza, I am voluptuous and Filipino likes slender) and unfaithfulness!
      BZFLAG, the author, is just saying that indeed some of the misconceptions happen in real life. But wait, there are Filipinas out there who is really out for love and you can’t blame if we are FOUND by foreign men. And we are professionals earning enough to be independent in life.
      One Italian I’ve dated (who lived in 5 countries in his life) told me I am so different from other girls he met, commending me as “not just a pretty face” and “definitely not a representative of a Filipina”. Cause he met some Filipinas along the way & he can’t converse well with them. So my point is, enough of the judgment. I’ve had BAD experiences with Filipino men, so don’t blame us if some foreign men treats us more of a Queen than Filipinos who see us as a rag.

  11. You made a disclaimer saying that this is your personal experience and you are not generalizing. But your title and points suggests the opposite. By titling it to: “Truth and Lies about Filipinas with Foreigners!”, you are making an emphatic statement. Probably you can defend yourself but you cannot make a general and emphatic statement and “points” and somehow try to make it appear to be true to all. Out of all the Filipinas of your kind who happen to marry/be in a relationshipe with a foreigner for the reason of “pure love”, 20 percent is a good number, and that is being very conservative. I am from Cebu and living very near condominiums where I “always” see old western men with their filipina partner (mostly in early 20’s and early 30’s). And take note, I “haven’t” a young western man with a Filipina. So probably all the points you’ve shared here is true to yourself, but generally, it is quite the opposite.

    1. Every Pinay will tell you that there are those bad girls which are only after money or visas but will add: “BUT I AM DIFFERENT” 😀😁😂

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  13. Im dating a British guy too, he’s funny, sweet, very supportive in everything i do, very makulit, maloko, we’ve been dating for almost 2 years now, he has been here in Philippines twice, he loves my family, my mom’s cooking, and everything about Philippines (except for those people who try to take advantage coz he’s a white guy, like at taxi or trycicle) We’re happy, and we both are bless to have each other.
    Is he old? No, he’s 28 and im 24. Is he rich? No, he works hard everyday just like what other people do. Do i ask money? I never ask for money ever, we bought a mio bike here in Philippines, so that everytime he come back home we have a ride wherever we want to, go and he’s the one whose paying it, i never ask for it, he wanted it. Do we fight/argue? Yep, lots of times, i think we learning both of each other cultures and belief, we’re worked hard on what we have now and still in a work process, love is not just a happily ever after, its a matter of time, respect, trust, efforts, goals and many more thing. Do i have a job? Yep, im working as a pharmacy assistant her3 in Philippines. Does his family know about me? Yes, I’ve talked to her mom couple of time, and they are happy for us. Do we plan on getting married? We talked bout it lot of times, we wanted to be more stable to support the family that we gonna build. Do we love each other? As he always say he just dont love me, he is madly deeply inlove with me and i do love him more than anything in this world. We wanted to be together its just a matter of time and also money. Ooppss! I forgot to say he wanted to retire here when we gets old. 😊

  14. I feel you on this. I am also dating a foreigner. We’ve been together for more than 2 years and honestly it has been the best relationship I ever had (we are not so officially engaged. He asked I said yes, but he wants to ask my mom’s blessing. He does respect our culture). I had dated local men as well but it’s not about where they came from, it’s about how the relationship goes and how well does the guy treat you.

    Whenever I tell people I am dating a foreigner I always get basically the same reaction and thoughts as yours:
    “Wow you can have easy access to the US” – uhmm no, if it’s possible, I rather live here where I am near my family.
    “He’s rich, isnt he? You’re into his money” – not really, he is just a basic average person who works to save up money.
    “You must have meet him in dating sites!” – well I met him online, but no, it wasnt a dating site. We met while playing an online game, we talked, found out we had a lot of things in common. I even told him not to fall for me because I wasn’t ready to be committed but hey, he didnt give up, so here we are

    One thing that irked me though is what some foreigners thing about us as well. His family doesnt much accepts me and tried to break us apart, because according to them, we are from a 3rd world country and I am only after his money/Im a gold digger and an easy access to the US. I have a good paying job here, which pays all my bills and enough extra to spoil myself and occasionally my family, why would I give that all up for a life I am not even sure where to go? I am with him because he makes me feel love, inspires me, picks me up when im down and just basically there for me

    So to all gals out there dating foreigner. Screw what others think. Your life your decision. As long as you are not putting down anyone or destroying lives. I wish you all well. And those who are getting married, I hope for the best for you’ll <3

    1. I am not against interacial dating/marriage, but the Filipina is becoming an excemption. You girls have built a reputation/stereotype in different parts of the world to be white supremacists because 9/10 of the filipina immigrants you’ll meet in major cities have white boyfriends/husbands.

      Why is that? You have to be honest that this is solid colonial mentality.

      When i lived in LA, there used to be jokes about this: in where one guy posted a vector poster of the top white supremacists in the world. You had Trump, Bejamin Forest, and the Filipina.

      filipinas should not pride their culture because it’s highly ironic that you are so closed door on White guys that you even reject your own. “I love my heritage” my ass.. In about 30+ years, the majority of filipinos will be half white and likely oblivious to their own cultures.. A damn shame too since Filipinos have the most interesting one, being a mix of Asian and Spanish in culture.

  15. I’m a Filipina and I also had a European boyfriend, but hey. I’m not asking money from him, I worked hard on my own and supports my family. We’re both young lovers. Just love, PURE Love. I used my profession wisely and work on my own without asking help from him.

  16. Let me tell u clearly filipinas are just making money from their bodies like bitches.
    Back to the country they r either married already or already hv had a puppy.
    So dont ever think of marrying them as they only know one thing in this world and that is money. If u hv it they r on ur thighs and if u dont hv it then u r under their foot.

    1. This is so true… They will backmail you after their get your citizenship as well…

      Don’t ever marry with a filipinas, they are lazy, always asking money and have an affairs with other men.

      Their culture is like living a fake sense like they go to church to confess their mistakes again again til they die.

      1. then look for a decent filipina…there are a lot of educated filipinas

        i believed , you meet her at the night club or resto. bars who wants easy money , waste money or a happy go lucky girl

  17. Thank you for your sharibg. Good luck w Jon and your continued journey. It’s uplifting at a certain point and challebging as well. I hope to learn more about this kind of situation thru your or others’ sharing

  18. We can’t really avoid people who think that way. Reality check: it really does exist, HOWEVER, not all but some. Which is sad.

    I’ve been dating my fiance for almost a year now and it never happened at one point i asked money from him. I agree with your “he works, i work.. he saves , i save.. equal parternership”. During our first month, we already established that part. He works as an IT and I am a nurse and working my ass out to be independent. So? 😉 Visa is not that much of an issue as medical professional. Lol

    Key points about filipina-foreigner relationship:
    1. Get to know your partner really well
    2. Set what to expect from each other (be truthful)
    3. Not all filipinas are truthful BUT NOT ALL FOREIGN ARE TRUTHFUL

    Goodluck everyone!

  19. Im gay and had an Italian exBoyfriend. I love the way you write the article. You clearly speak the voice of clarity to the fool. But i was waiting for the quarrel. If how did you manage to fix it. Because mine is so terrible. It’s one of the reason why i called it quits.

  20. I was engaged to a foreign man and we will be married next year. He is a pilot and I’m a teacher. I think this article would help all of the filipinas who have the same issues of being judged with other people because of the advantages we can get when we date or marry a foreigner. but for us, money, not even the statuses arent an issue. If its a real love, whether he is a foreign or not, you will love him with all your heart. thankfully, my fiancee isn’t too old though, he is just 4 years older than me and maybe thats the reason why people doesnt think that he is my sugar daddy. Lol.

    1. The judgement is really based on the “you want money/visa”. That judgement is based on the phenomena that 9/10 filipinas you will meet in major cities date only white guys. Even rejecting their own.

      It’s obvious out of colonial brainwashing in that country in where being white is highly needed. You love white more than your own heritage, if that isn’t true then answer why the majority of filipinas are closed door to only whites?

  21. I love it..haha…let’s add some to that..they do think that when you got foreign man you are extravagant..that you are lucky and has a lot of money..like me..they even asked me to borrow money from me. .then I said “oh..I just have enough for myself “…then they would say to their selves “arrogant and merciless coz she got her foreign guy. Don’t even share her blessings”..and me 😱😱😱😱..like seriously I’m having issues with money but i Don’t ever depend on my man coz I know he got his money for his needs and savings too..so filipino mentality that thinks a Filipina is holding a millions of money coz with a foreign guy..😂😁😀😂😂😀

  22. Do Filipino women who jump into relationships with white men ever think about the families and long term marriages that they break up because they are younger, smaller and cuter than the wife that gave birth to their “white partners” children, worked their butts off for a future with the man they loved and then were abandoned. Then, play the I can’t recieve communion because I live with you and want to get married, card. It is bullshit and selling their souls…but at what cost?

    1. I’d say no they don’t. They often don’t even question why is it that he cannot get along in his own culture? What are his legal responsibilities to that family? Physical/mental health/financial situation In most cases a home country back ground check and references is needed before anything serious develops. Many are hiding and know a woman in their own culture would be smart enough to dig into these things.

  23. I’m also a Filipina dating a white guy, but definitely not for his money. I grew up with a diverse background, having lived in different countries. I always get that same judgment from fellow Filipinos (particularly staff from hotels, restaurants, malls, etc) that I’m only with him for his money. They clearly treat him different than me. But what they didn’t know is that I even earn slightly higher than him. I hate how there’s that stereotype of Filipino girls going gaga over white men’s money.

  24. My husband is 60. He had an affair while he was married to me and ask her to marry him and gave her a ring before even announcing to me for a divorce. It was an online affair for one year and then they met, had sex, met her family and he proposed. We are still married and he wants to bring her over to the states. She is 16 years younger then he is. What should I think and isn’t there a civil law in the Philippines. They say it’s for love, but it ll sounds fishy for me. I’m also partially handicap.

    1. Unfortunately, this article is only telling on her personal experience but it is trying to generalize that is true to all. What you are experiencing, maam, is the “real common” thing.

    2. Sad situation 🙁 but I am not completely one-side about this. 16 years seems to me on the border of the acceptable/normal. Though the way it happened is not ok (asking her first before divorce), such a thing does not occur in functional relationship. And I do not think people should stay together just because they once said that aloud in front of a few people, or because a book says so. I do believe in staying together with someone life, but both partners should never give up on trying to make each other happy, there always needs to be a balance. If a long term relationship breaks that balance was most likely gone for a while already. That you are partially handicapped adds nothing relevant to the story I fear.

  25. Not true, my fiance was denied a visiting visa here, to the US, as she could “TNT”..she is a wheelchair user like me, has a house in Cavite, works for a Insurance company in QC, has a degree in accounting,makes 40,000 php. has family but she, and 2 dozen other Filipinos were denied visas at the Manila embassy I am a paraplegic, she a polio survivor who can take a jet while my electric chair makes it impossible for me.The passport means nothing nowadays .Now If she wants to visit the US to meet me, my family see what Western Washington is like, she needs to come over under a fiance visa.It is a very involved process .

  26. hey…
    I am also chatting with a filipino from some days but I dont know why she always talk about materialistic things (phone , makeup stuff and sometimes money also)…
    I cant give her anything cuz I dont have a good job to fulfill her needs.
    also I think about if she only loves money not money…
    she is good , caring and beautiful also
    I guess she is 20 and me 23
    I wanna marry her .
    being from india
    what I could do to visit her and marry her
    I want to live with her forever but I doubt about her nature and her objectionable demands…
    please help me out…
    manpreet

  27. Thanks ma’am I agree this because all white think all pinay are gold digger… Even not all… Of course they have lot of money because there salary is expensive and here it’s cheap but it’s really same they work and we work… The difference is the currency only….

  28. I rented a room to a pretty little Philipina and her white, American husband for about 2 years and they took off one Saturday when I was not home. They gave no notice and left owing me $1000.00. The room was a mess! They left the room very dirty and failed to report slow drains and other plumbing issues. Do not rent to Filipinos!

    1. Yeah, but you could just as well say, “Do not rent to white American men”!

      I am white, but not American, and unfortunately I WAS married to a filipina scammer, so I know that a lot of the things said above are true. But I never say or believe that it applies to ALL filipinas. That would be racist, and I do not agree with racism. But it seems true that a helluva lot of filipinas, being relatively poor, are very money oriented. What the percentage is, I have no idea, because no surveys are done on that matter, and anyway, who is going to SAY they are? And don’t forget we can only say on what we see and read about — which automatically can induce distortions.

      “Matandang Mayaman, Madaling Mamatay (Old, Rich, and Soon to die)….” Yup, true to form, that’s exactly what my ex went for! And it seems to me, it is certainly a reflection of their cultural values if they even have an EXPRESSION for it.

      The original writer, a filipina who married a foreigner, even talks about the stigma that filipinas involved with, or marrying, foreigners are supposedly only interested in one thing — “greener pastures in the good old US of A — or any western country!” Certainly you do not find this kind of thing in China, Malaysia, Laos, or probably Vietnam or Cambodia (although you do, apparently, to some extent in Thailand — a real change from when I was living there, as in those days NO girl would ever even go out with a “farang”!)

      So, it is to do with poverty, yes — but also language, and the culture, like being very outward-looking, since of course America was in charge for some years. And probably something to do with religion, and its ban on contraception, and the fact that filipino men often seem to have little respect for the sanctity of marriage — from what I have HEARD.

      But as Arthur Schopenhaeur said, “Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for [to be] the limits of the world.”

      It is not easy to have a balanced view — especially if/when you have recently been horribly scammed by a “lovely filipina”. As for the guy above who stoutly maintains, “I’m married to a filipina, and I KNOW”, I’d say go back to the paragraph above. You can’t extrapolate from ONE, to make realistic and sensible statements about a whole population. On the other hand, if you’ve been “burned” just once, you can’t help but be very careful in the future.

      It’s called “adaptive behaviour” — and we had better be aware of it.

      1. I like your comment, it’s sound and more balanced compared to other commenters here.

        There are good and bad people everywhere. To foreigners who are so negative to us pinays (whether we deserve it or not), I suggest to find someone in your own country. Why travel all the way here if you hate/dislike us much. It doesn’t make sense.

        I’m attracted to Caucasians, is it wrong to have preferences? Is it wrong to prefer someone responsible, hard working and not a loser? Are far as I know we are still free to marry whomever we want. I understand some are jealous or have terrible experiences.

        To those who have bad experiences, I really feel sorry for you, but please use common sense -like get to know the person better first before getting serious. Be selective, do not get involve or hang around with someone who’s shady character -these applies to anyone -pinays or not.

  29. What do filipino men say about all this? That their young women run away with often older foreigners? Do they not feel awkward that a young girl prefer an sometimes bald and fat old man instead of a young handsome filipino man? Does that not create tensions in the Philippine society and recentment from the guys against the old men, but also against many filipina women?

    1. It’s becoming a norm in the philippines especially to provinces. Practicality-wise some filipina use Old/fat rich white to milk money. As of ratio 1filipino:13filipina so it’s not awkward or big deal to take notice of.

    2. of course it’s bad, but what are you going to do? We cannot force anyone (pinay or foreigner) for their choices -whether it’s good or bad. Everyone has to live with the consequences of their own decisions. And it’s their business.

  30. Thank you for an interesting article. May I ask if you have some estimation of how many percent of Filipina women who has a foreign husband or boyfriend? 1%, 10% or mayb 50%. It would be interesting to know.
    But it seems that there are more than in many other countries. Here in the west not so many women would date a foreigner, especially if he was not white. And in many muslim countries who is even more poor than the Philippines it would be totally unthinkable for women to date or marry any white, western foreigner.

    Take care

    Larsan

  31. Hi everyone… I am always judge because I am way look younger with my partner- he is 48 and I am 34… but I look like a 20 years old….If we are eating in a restaurant or going in a mall, some people talk about us and having harsh comment… Both of us are working which means I am not about his money or citizenship because I told him that I want us to stay here. Don’t know how to deal with judgmental people… I always ignore but if I am alone it goes on my head.

  32. All Philippine women are same, bullshit stories aleays struggling to find a weaterner, what happen to there men ???

    1. Why blame it to filipinos then? Lol you know sometimes filipinos are submissive in some sorts. So maybe she just followed her american husband told her to do so. Stop pointing fingers on filipinos. There are some nasty foreign people too! What is exactly your point?

    2. Don’s be such a cry baby, you are acting like a soar loser! If you have been ripped off by a filipina, that’s your fault because you are so dumb ass person. Remember: no one will take advantage on you not unless you give them the license to do it. So who is dumb now? I really don’t tolerate douche like you!

  33. I think this writer is just a bit of bitter in other Filipina then you? You hide from the truth that you are the one of your wrote. Freak you are!

  34. Native of the Philippines here but only half-Fil by lineage. It’s funny because some of my non-Fil friends here in Manila have sometimes asked me for some job referrals because they need money to survive in Manila. I myself am kinda seeing an American guy right now and he shares with me his financial woes he’s facing because of misguided decisions he made even before he met me. I share with him my own problems at work. I speak for myself when I say he and I amazingly get along very well, so much better than my interactions with Filipino men.I consider him to be my intellectual equal, and a great friend, two things I want to have in my relationship. The only money he’s ever sent to me was one dollar to my PayPal account, just to check if it works or not (I only received 66 cents because of transaction charges, and this has become a private joke between him and me, that he’s such a stingy white guy and I’m the cheapest Asian woman, hahaha! ). He’s only two years older than me, and despite other men , Filipino and non-Fil liking me, younger or older than me, I chose him because his values and opinions are similar to mine. Bottom line is, for whatever reason two people get together, they shouldn’t care what others think as long as they are happy. It’s nobody’s business whatever they do and people who pass judgement are usually envious of the happiness the couple has.

  35. Thanks for sharing BZFLAG. Well said! My husband shared this to me who is an English man. I really wish that one day, people of all nationality would have an open understanding about this. Well done to you and Jonathan, bless both of you.

  36. The definiton of a foreigner seems to be limied to white foreigners. So the artile should be “filipinas marrying white foreigners”. And why only filipinas? what about filipinos marrying white foreigners (women)? Please be critical of the languages and peconceptions and misconceptions, which is what this article is supposed to be about, instead of propagating stereotypes, misnomers, and misconceptions. If you mean white say it! If you mean not white, say it! Oscar Peñaranda, writer, educator and a non-whhite foreigner.

  37. Hello i just found this article while browsing on my endless newsfeed on fb… And wow! Everything in here is true! I really love the article, i really wished to read more, thanks alot! It really inspires me….. Wished to read more!! God bless! And more power! 😉 ^_^

    1. Post
      Author
  38. I love reading your blog BZFLAG! And congratulations too. I can totally relate with this article.

    Anyway a word of advice, foreigner or filo, if your gf/bf starts asking money or starts complaining and bitching how they are in desperate need of financial assistance, run away as fast as you can in the other direction. More often than not, that “need” will never stop once you give in. You will be inundated with never-ending sad stories. Sad reality here is that a lot of filos think that dating white skin (foreigner) equals financial freedom, they don’t know any better… BUT YOU SHOULD. Even their families encourage it, they are conditioned to thinking that they should support the entire family, even the whole baranggay (throw in the next town’s askals too for good measure), and that you should too. In fact, if you think that they would change once you have your own kids… fat chance that would be happening. They would still put their families back home first, not your own family. Thats what they call “Utang-na-loob”, something they can never repay. Their parents will never make them forget where they come from, not realising they were not wanted in the first place. The Philippines being so Catholic, discourages artificial birth control, (hence the large number of kids)and they can’t buy them anyway for lack of money.

    But make no mistake, there are stories too when the partner is working with a good career or job and still, would scam you of your hard earned money. They all come in shapes and sizes, most are very ‘sweet’ and ‘loving’ who thinks the world of you, then after sending a couple of thousand dollars would suddenly disappear. Again, it doesn’t happen only here in the Philippines, it happens everywhere but more in a country where there is not much hope. I just hate seeing anybody hurt, so be wary! I hope we all find “the one”, irregardless of race or color. So good luck!

    1. Very true I experienced this nasty type of relationship in cebu with my ex fiancee. Believe me my two years relationship with my ex fiancee a straight psychopath and gold digger made me realise treachery is coded in to their dna whether educated, poor or rich filipina. I know NOT all of them have this devilish personality trait but it is very much prevalent amongs them in their society. Another thing I noticed is their passive agrressive attitude, humility and empathy is a value system very scarce on the ground. Having said all I have met really lovely and genuine Filipinos and Filipinas in the Philippines and Abroad and still very much like the people and country but CAUTION & BE CAREFUL is the Gospel . Watch where you go , who you meet and yes protect your wallet , emotions and heart .

  39. Pingback: What Makes A Filipino Less of a Filipino?  – Oblivious Mind

  40. Hi BZFLAG, all you wrote here are true, I’m a Filipina married to a New Zealander but long before him I dated 3 other men.

    I came from a middle class family, had a degree in a reputable school in Manila, My life was home, university and back home again, until I met my very first boyfriend while I was on a surfing trip in la union, he was 12 years older than me and a senior executive in Disney inc. our relationship lasted for 3 years until I call it off when he blurted out that I was getting fat and he wanted a sexier slimmer gf when my waist size was 24, I thought why wait for him to dump me when I can dump him? So I broke it off, hindi sa nag yayabang ako but he tried to win me back saying he was just kidding. Duh?!

    Then after him while working as an intern in a fancy hotel in Singapore I met a Dutch pilot, he said he was divorced with 2 kids, he was nice and sweet and all so after a couple of dates in a span of two months I said yes, our relationship lasted for a year or so until, my sister who is a computer savvy working in Canada found his company profile and found out he was actually married and just using me as his lay over gf while on his duty in Singapore. Needless to say we broke up, leaving me with a broken heart.

    Then after him I dated an Australian guy, younger than both guys above, super chill, super cool, but jobless and under the support of his rich parents back in Oz, he offered to bring me to OZ, promising a better life than what my life was in Singapore, but I thought I rather stay in Si galore where I have a decent job and earning more than what I needed, why move to Oz and stay under his parents roof and be fed by them when I can fed my self and support my self in Singapore? He doesn’t want to work, he said his parents money was more than enough for both of us to survive, I’m a hard working woman from a hard working family, and it’s a shame to be somebody else’s burden especially if that somebody else is not the partner.

    I must admit that while I was still with him I met somebody else and that somebody else is no other than my husband, the person I chosen to be with and whom I felt more loved and secured. I met my now husband on a holiday trip in New Zealand, he just an ordinary guy doing a blue collar job, his family are the same, he was a divorcee with no children. He doesn’t promise me anything, and as far as I can remember I paid the bill on our very first dinner date.

    After the tour a couple of months after he followed me in Singapore and stayed for a week and our relationship was maintained through Skype after that, he stayed in my apartment ate my food and only paid for dinner or lunches once or twice. We dated for two years while I was still in a relationship with the Australian guy, they both know about each other, and accepted where they stand in my life. Believe me I loved them both, and I don’t want to hurt any of them, but I must admit that keeping them both is selfish and immoral, so one day I decided that I should choose one of them or decide to loose them both. But they made choosing easy for me, they both offered to have me stay with them and meet their family for a month, which I accepted.

    I have nothing to say abouth the Australian guy’s family, both parents where nice and good to me, the only thing I can say was they spoilt their son so much to the point that they treated him like a baby which is by the way unusual to a western family.
    As for the New Zealander they where nice and religious and a hard working family, they are not rich like the Australians but after I spent my time on both families I realized that choosing the New Zealander is the better choice, why? Because I know that no matter what happened he and I can survive on our own, while if I chose to be with the australian I don’t know what will happen if his parents are gone, there might be money but money will run out and what will happen when there is no money?
    I don’t want to be the one looking for money and feeding the family. So I chosed to be with the New Zealander, he may not have the money but he works hard enough and I work hard enough, we still don’t own a house but I’m happy and contented with my choice and above all else I feel loved.

  41. Not all filipina have that mentality if they want foreigner man just for money or wealth. I been in relationship with a dutch guy who is younger 1 yr than me. I like and love him alot because of his prospect and goal in life to have a family. He is not from rich family during his school year he know how to save his money for food gave by her mom and dad, during his college years he work and study to support him self to finish study. He is very independent person. He accept and love me about my past im a single mom i work hard to support my own child. When he was sick the first visit in philippines he was happy that im there to take care him together with my child that he treat as his own child. We both love to work hard to support our own needs and someday we be together as a family. Thank kach

  42. Please- it’s a whole business. From fraudulent visas- to the network in the states that already has the “husbands” picked out. Dying wives in the process.. Hit me as soon as the dirt covers the grave. Introduced by that nice P woman at the grocery who knew the wife was sick and dying. Bang a new Phillipa bride to be in the house in under 2 months. Entire families destroyed. Millions sent by cash to the Phillipines thru run down “Bodegas”
    This is the reality- then 11 months later with a phony marriage done (as there is already a husband in the Phillipines) the old man is found dead. Phillipa bride scurries to get as much more cash as she can before getting back to the Phillipines- OUT of REACH of the law.
    Right tell us some more fairy tales. For what is written here is 99% of the reality.

    1. most of the time it’s philippine girls who aggressively pursue a relationship with a caucassian male even if the latter only wants to be friendly 😀

    2. agree. besides it’s girls from the philippines that actively pursue a relationship with caucassian men sometimes too aggressively even if the latter only wants to be friendly or just being nice 😀

  43. with all the rhetoric, anyone from a third world country must admit it’s better to be a citizen of a developed western country 🙂

  44. Thank you for a very well written honest post! I love it, and it’s so refreshing to know that there are filipinas out there who are independently striving hard to make the bacon rather than being a freeloader parasite to their white / foreign man. It is true however, that perhaps 98% of filipino women marry white/foreign guys older than them (and I’m talking about a huge age gap of 10-30 years) for the reasons you have pointed out in this post; the visas, the money, and the belief of saving them from their adversaries of poverty. In the middle east, most filipino women date white guys to uphold their social status and to satisfy their emotional need. These are the kind of women that repulsed me and makes me feel ashamed of having a filipino blood in me.

    My father is filipino, mum is european. I never looked like a filipino but I have lived in the ph for 5 years and hang out with my fili classmates as I took filming classes in DLSU. When I got promoted for a job in the middle east however, it’s sad to say that almost all filipinos working there are uneducated and very judgmental. Almost everybody has the typical failipino thinking of “white is always richer and better” I don’t blame them, It’s how they are raised in a country filled with close minded religious bigots.

    1. Anne jillian, with pinoy mentality kaakibat yan dating with foriegner… Make sure you are strong against those accusations… Im maried with a white guy, supalsupal sila pag may marinig ako, di pweding tatahimik lang. its time to educate them sometimes harsh way of educating them helps Hehe…
      At common issue is money, kya masakit tanggapin kung di matin gawain…
      At isa din na ipaglaban mo, pag my kasama kamg puti biglang tataas ang mga fee… Entrance fee, minsan sa iba Naka categorized na f foreigner mataan ang bayad nila… Sa pamasahi ang kritikal, ma tricycle or taxi, Jeep kung pakyawan at even gueat house tataas bigla pag malamang fireigner kasama mo… Advice, negotiate earlier para may idea ka din wag padadala sa explaination nila na bigla lang nag.increase.. Sa guesthouse, booked in advance wag sabihin na foreigner ang kasama mo… Base on my experience, hehe…

  45. i enjoyed reading your comments here. funny, it enlightens me.credits to you ms.kach. im a sucker of online dating in hope to find love thar i cant do in reality due to my busy sched. i’ve signed up in fews online dating site, hence there isnt any progress. reason? well i dont know why. anyway, thanks again ms.kach and to you all beautiful earthlings

  46. Glad to see an article like this. Unfortunately I have seen alot of Filipina marrying old foreigners just for security and financial stability even at the expense of them Filipinas being abused, disrespected and treated like a “goffer”. They totally hurt my eyes. I have seen some of the comments and some of the complaints of the husbands are valid. I have seen the likes of them. Sometimes I feel so ashamed when I see Filipina women like them.

    But to say that 99% of Filipinas are like them isnt true. True to what other people in this thread have commented some families is not so much welcoming of the foreigners. Not all families in the Philippines would be happy to have their woman marrying a westener or a foreigner. This may sound new to most people but do your research, visit other unpopular places to get to know more of the Filipina women and its culture. You might be surprise how much Filipinas are educated and independent in the country. Or how much pride a decent Filipino family has that they would do everything so as not to bother their daughter & sons specially after they get married. You would be surprise with the normal Filipino wedding traditions that the family and relatives of the bride & groom ensures that the couple has everything and each side of the family is competing with gifts for the couple, among other rooted wedding & family traditions.
    Any decent man who has a decent purpose in marriage will find a suitable woman in the Phils if they would only expand their horizon instead of just settling down to the first woman that smiles to them. It will save them a whole lot of headache if they learn the traditions and culture first before commiting into a relationship. The Philippines have 7100 islands each island has their unique culture. Explore them don’t just stick with one or two islands that is popular for tourist. There is a reason why other island isnt, then you will know what a true blooded Filipina is like. And when you do, you will know because you won’t get their YES to a relationship as easily as the others because they are worth it and they dont have the skeletons that most of these poor guys here complained about!

    Goodluck people!

    P.s. i am a Filipina woman who is in a relationship to a a foreign man 19 yr senior than me.. There’s a huge cultural difference but finances and my relatives have never been part of our arguments and differences. Never asked for any financial help or support in all of our 4 yrs relationship. I always split the bill with him even though he always insists to pay for all (if he is Filipino man I will never hesitate for him to pay all, Filipino men knew their responsibilities as much as we woman do but since he is of different culture I take care not to be stereotyped) i chose him and loved him for his strong character, the only guy I knew “who could hold my reigns”. Thanks to the age difference he got the wisdom and strength to outwitt me 😉

  47. Im so sorry if other filipinas treated you like that.. But again please dont generalize it.. I am going out with a French-Moroccan guy and he is 5 years my junior.. I love him as he is.. When we go out he pays most of the time because he said he doesnt like women payin for his food but I buy him stuff as well like perfume, clothes etc.. Dont think that each Filipina is a gold-digger and im sorry to say this, if it is a recurring issue and you allow it then it is already your fault..

    I have told my bf a couple of times that I dont need his money since I am a career woman and we dont even know how much each other earns! Money is not an issue for us..

    So please, stop making assumptions that all Filipinas are like that.. I have Aunts and Uncles who are happily married to foreigners and most of them are in their 30-40 yrs together..

    Loving is a two-way street.. If you feel that the other person only loves you because of money then let go.. You are mature enough to know reality from fantasy..

  48. My mother is a Filipina, and my father is a Dutchman. And their love story is so sweet. It was a love at first sight, they said. When my father met my mother (my mother was a traveller and my father was a backpacker in Australia). And yeah, that’s what happened. Of course, he had the permission of my grandparents! Sorry for my English.

  49. I have a really sad and heart breaking story of me and my online Filipina gf of 4 months 🙁 My heart is still breaking because it happened earlier this month 🙁 🙁

    1. So sorry to hear that it same as me to. I supposed to get married to American man but suddenly he said he didnt love me anymore. So really sad .

  50. Why does some people Believe that there are way more scammers and impostors in the Philippines in comparison to any other country ?

    1. Because it is a third world country and prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. My Fillipina GF of 3 years has just left me for a richer, younger man.

      1. ive been with a foriegner, a dutchman for 7 years, i love him so, but sad to say he choose his cousin more than me and my son..ive been a faithful and loyal woman to him but wasnt enough?i was so hurt now that we are not a priority. i have my own work, working so hard to prove to him that its not money that counts, to prove to him that not all filipina only needs/want money from their foreigner partner…

    2. It’s because it’s what they have experience. They are looking for wife here not in another country. So they judge the people and the place that they have been into not the places and people that they never even seen.

  51. hey im from Tanzania currently in college i would like to marry a pinay im planning on getting married when im 30 currently im 22 and im black do you think they would accept me ? i have two mutual friends on from phillipines from what i see they are good people just like us Tanzanians i look foward meeting a beautiful pinay girl to marry and i want to settle in philipines if possible not Manila or Cebu but in Olangpo City .And what are dating sites to find phillipinas,sorry for the bad english.

    1. I’m African American and I’m currently seeing a filipina..She currently lives in Hong Kong. I’m 24 and she’s 27 years old. We have so much in common that we see past race. If you want to find a girlfriend, as long as you’re confident in your skin, you can find a girl of any race.

  52. when someone is looking to purchase a new home or condo first thing they do is… eg;) find the area they desire to live, then pricing, amenities/accommodations, structural integrity, mortgage, etc…. just to name a few! I mean this is going to be the biggest purchase you’ll ever make in your life…right?….you wanna be 110% sure your making the right move. Leaving no stones unturned, finding all the do’s & don’ts, & checking all your P’s & Q’s !!! Using this scenario as a analogy going into a relationship might & might not work depending on how good you really know your partner or you think you know them??? Doing some ground work like eg;) meeting there family,friends & neighbors are just to name a few pointers & might give you more insight as to who they really are. My parents use tell me as a kid … an ounce of precaution is worth more than a pound of cure…I’m a American from NYC US going out with a Pinay from Leyte for a 1- 1/2 yrs. now and visited a few time as well. She’s 33yrs.of age and I’m 53 yrs.of age and we truly fell in love at first site… I had the intro through a buddy of mine that married her cousin. We have our ups and downs like any other couple I’m sure but we always try to work it out. ..more cause of cultural differences. I’ll be retiring in 4 yrs. from my civil service profession and plan on snow birding out there for starters….and see where it goes from there! My famous modo is I’m like St. Thomas…I feel my way through….I’d like to thank the founders of this site & all it’s members/participants ….. God bless***

  53. It is allso asumed that dirty old white men come to Philippines to find younger wife because they cant find one in there own country witch is true of some but not all I accidently
    Started talking to a philapina and fell in love she is beautiful
    But she is 50
    Im 51 .
    We want to marry im in the UK
    So not all men want
    Young girls at 50
    I think she is amazing true
    Mahal

  54. It is soooo refreshing to encounter such an honest blog. I am a half pinay but I don’t look like it, though. I have never felt more like an outsider or called the n’word and other negative names than when I go the Philippines. It was so bad, I told myself I would never return. But I love my family so much. They are so loving and crazy. I have been touring the country every winter for four years now.
    It is interesting to hear how Philippines can be so “whitewashed” that they believe automatically “white is better.” For you you met and loved a guy who happens to be white..and not because he was white. I hope more Pinoys/Pinays value and take pride in their brown skin (stop bleaching) and not put others down that have even darker skin.
    Stay brown and beautiful. Make sure your husband stays covered. White people look terrible as a cooked lobsters HEHE.
    If you are ever in Korea…come look me up.

  55. I’m a Filipina and i have a westerner boyfriend but I earned more than him and we split the bills. 🙂 Sorry guys but those Filipina’s you’ve met doesn’t have a career! 😛

    1. It is not scammers I am worried about the ones that worry me are the fakers that claim to be your friend and then one day they just leave without a word. And then then you realize that every word they have told was a total lie

  56. I don’t like Filipino, they are arrogant, love to make constant noise, hideous smell, always drunk and stupid too, especially a self-pride about their country. Their genes isn’t a good genes among human races. They will ruin your genes.. Probably you will get an ugliest and stupidest son/daughter.

    1. You might be having a deep pain in your heart ..in behalf of all Pilipino, we sorry for anything that made you say all that words Mister, well goodluck in your life may God always blessed you. 🙂

    2. Seriously?why?what is your nationality?racist..!!get a life dickhead..you just happen to met a bad person then generalizing all..don’t you have bad persons in your country?shame on you..hahahahaha

  57. This is beautiful! I have started dating a foreigner here in Canada, he’s Irish. The only problem i have is that I feel like I’m not interesting enough for him, like what do you guys do for holidays? My family doesn’t really have any traditions we go by during holidays, birthdays that makes me feel uncomfortable and holding me back to be fully committed to him, i’m scared he’s just gonna get sick of me. any advice?

  58. I thank this website. Wish my wife would read it. I lived in the PI for 2 1/2 years. Call me stupid call me smart I am on my 3rd filipina wife. First of all it is a myth that they love their husband so ooo! much. I am a genuine honest good natured american. Very caring and generous. I am not without compassion and empathy. I am a filipina expert!!! There is nothing I dont know about them inside and out. They are a hotheaded jealous bunch. I look like a hollywood movie star and the girls act nuts and crazy around me. So I have that quality that works agaisnt me. Well I am not a playboy so dont treat me that way. But after they are married to me all they want is sex and to keep dumping money to her family in the P I. I am very humble and easy going but I am done putting up with the shit. Her family lives in a house and she built another in the PI and we live in a tralier in a park. OK so the bitch wants to keep giving money to her family well she dont get sex and now she cant sleep. She gets off everytime we have sex thats.because I am hot and the master when it comes to that. Guess what its time we had our own house and life. We have 2 beautiful girls and its time to give them what they need and slac off on your family. I have had enough.

    So you want to marry a filipina? Not worth the trouble. They dont follow god our worship Him our I would have a happy family!!!

    1. i read what you said and my experience with my wife and her family is that the foreigner is primarily a provider, an asset that the who​le filipina family has a right to benefit from financially. The article of the filipina lady above is misleading to say the least.. Her family is composed of 7 children and 3 brothers and 3 sisters. Their ages range from 20 to 30. They are all of working age. Only two of them work. The others just stay lazily at home doing nothing and expecting me to support them. I will not. I have agreed to pay for their electricity bill and water bills EVERY month and that’s it. Why ? Because I am living off my pension and have a filipina wife and her little boy to support. That is my limit. It has caused lots of fights between me and my wife. Her 20 year old sister just does not work. Lots of girls their age work in department stores etc. Not her. The other sister is only 24 but already has 4 children not of the same father…. so she feels she has a right not to work and be supported. ALL all all all our fights are about her family,because of her family. I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HEARING FROM OTHER FOREIGN GUYS AND THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH THEIR FILIPINA WIVES.. Thank you.

      1. Greetings Frank,
        I am the Australian husband of a Filipina almost half my age. I am 71. she is 39. We met online four years ago and married within three months. She was then 35 and a virgin. Not Catholic. Educated with a degree in Architecture with a full time job in Manila. Three siblings. Two older one younger. One sister, two brothers. Her father lived overseas for most of her life to earn money to educate his children. He has since returned home where he continues to find employment in the construction industry. The family are all self supporting in a variety of industries but mainly construction. The extended family are close and in my experience not looking for any hand out from me as their only western member. That is not to say that occasionally we send financial assistance but through choice and generally at Christmas or other celebrations.
        My wife works as do I and we have an income from some long term property investments provided by me. We act as a married couple should in respect to money. Any sur is saved in a joint account. We pay for everything using plastic and there is no restriction as to use other than our own individual frugality. Surviving financially in this country is not easy.
        I consider myself to be fortunate in my choice of companion and believe it’s the same for her but we have other Filipina married to Australian men whom I don’t consider fortunate. Family pressure for sustenance seems to be the main hurdle for the husbands to accept particularly where the income is limited to welfare/pensions. Whilst not always visible I also feel for the female who is married to a man with unfortunate habits and little respect. Some do, in fact, only want a slave and dominate the poor female.
        All in all I believe the ground rules regarding any expectations regarding provision of future, Filipino, family sustenance should be determined before any commitment is made. The Filipina needs to understand, before she ties the knot, that westerners are not all wealthy and that charity starts at home. If she is not prepared to accept this or later on abide by any agreement made at the outset then there is always going to be problems.
        I insisted on the execution of a pre-nuptial agreement witnessed by my fiancée’s mother to be sure there could be no misunderstanding. I would recommend this to anyone planning on wedding someone from a developing country.
        Good luck to all.

        1. Good advice there David. You guys have to be firm and set limits when it comes to supporting extended family members. My husband is an American. I never ask him to send money to my family ever! My family back home are mostly independent, have their own businesses, but there are times that they need help, so I loan the ones that are good in paying back. I don’t charge any interest unless it’s used for business purposes. Charity is different from business. I work my butt off to help my husband as well.

          If possible I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. That’s the reason I rarely ask for financial help even to my husband. There was a time when I got so desperate (before we got married), I lost my job when I was in pinas. Nobody would help me, not even my brothers and parents. My parents had no problem giving huge amounts of money to help my brothers but since I’m a female, I was treated differently. Would not even give P100 pesos when I reluctantly shy tried asking. I told my b/f about my situation, he lends me some money. Fast forward, I repaid him everything and so much more the moment I got a job. I never take advantage of anyone’s kindness.

          There are good and crazy pinas. It is really important to get to know the person and her family more before committing. And let them know beforehand what you want or your expectations.

          All the best to everyone! 🙂

        2. As soon as I read this Bola-bola I stopped reading… “We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!?” Straight lie… The Philippines is considered a “mail-order” third-world country with a high propensity for immigrations fraud, thus they require visa for most countries and those visa are hard to get… Talaga? Oh-oh! Toto-oh! O-po!

      2. I think you married a trash here. Why come all the way here and find a rock to hit your head. I guess women in USA is more expensive so men keep getting the cheap women here. If you got a woman from wealthy family that wouldn’t be the case. But it’s impossible to get a good looking wealthy woman if you aren’t the same. So I guess it’s just the trash ones that are really available for foreign men most of the time. Very difficult to get the upper class.

      3. YOu know, i am a Filipina as well, but i am against and not in favor of what other co/ Filipina doing to their Foreign boyfriend or foreign husband…….. Sometimes there are Filipina who are fun of distroying the reputation of good Filipinas as well. There are Filipina chatting while their husbands beside them and sometime they hide their husband in the province, and there is a filipina got 4 kids and she declared only the two kids to her bf while the other two kids is hidding in the province with the father….aaand there is a Filipina chatting while her husband is on shore (seaman) ….she meet her bf in real out of her husbands consents … Why i know all these? because they are all my neighbor. Well i reckon, that there is always a BAD KARMA as there is a saying, do not do unto others if you do not want others do unto you. …..This saying is no exception men or women can suffer a Bad Karma if both is not Loyal and not honest in a relationship.

    2. The article above presents us with seven myths about filipinas marryin foreignersg. Well here is one that is fact and not myth. 99% of filipinas marry a foreigner primarily to have her family financially cared for.. Notice I said ‘primarily’. That in my book is being a scammer. My wife, who is a sweet loving person said to me once during an argument ” i married you so you would support my family” — to which I replied “I MARRIED YOU BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND FOR NO OTHER REASON ! — I still totally refuse to finance them more than their electricity and water bills… EACH AND EVERY MONTH.

      1. You are being too generous , if I were you I would simply refuse to pay her family anything. Her attitude is disrespectful and you need to put a stop to it asap.

        1. You are absolutely right. I have put a stop to a lot of abuse already. This business of showing up announced and uninvited and immediately go for the fridge has stopped. The last instance was her brother and his wife coming to our house uninvited, unannounced, and he goes for the fridge and she plugs both their mobile phones and start charging them without even asking permission. They were out of the house within 3 minutes…. or when her brother came to our house with their telephone bill and said “FATHER ASKS YOU TO PAY OUR ELECTRICITY BILL.. HERE IT IS! — ha ha haha COMEDIANS… OR ON ANOTHER OCCASION It transpired in their house that my wife and I had just arrived from the supermarket and when we went out again to buy bread, they came to our house and consumed completely the 4 litres of ice cream we had bought and the biscuits… They were just there watching out TV and gulping our. 99% of our arguments fights are about her family and the abuse. So it annoys me when I read articles like the one above claiming that their particular relationship is a cream. . If not this, then somebody answer this… WHY IS THE MAJORITY OF FOREIGNER FILIPINA RELATIONSHIPS ABOUT AN OLDER, MUCH OLDER MAN AND A YOUNG FILIPINA ? What is the young filipina seeking when she married an older man ???? Somebody answer that. The answer is that the filipina hopes that being young will conquer the heart of an old fool. and financial gain with the deal. There are of course many filipina/foreigner relationships that are nice and lovin but 99% of filipinas seeking a foreigner are scammers.

          1. I’m sorry to hear that, wow. Your inlaws are too arrogant and disrespectful. If that is my family I am the one who will kick them out. My bf is 14 years older than me, he spoils me but just me not everyone from my family. My parents have money for themselves and my family is not my problem. My dad always says he will never bother us that is why he work hard and was very frugal with money. My brothers are not my problem too. So basically my bf will only take care of me not everyone, besides I can work too. Chinese culture is different, you borrow money and pay for it later, no asking but borrowing is allowed. So if you run business you need capital then you can borrow but make sure you pay for it. My dad doesn’t like asking like a beggar he has his own money. My relatives are all independent and will only borrow money and pay with interest. But asking without pay is not allowed for us. I can’t even ask money from my dad he will yell at me lols. I guess I deserve to be spoiled by my bf, I am cute and he loves me, and I love him back. When we get married I will also work so we can just share expenses and we can also save money for our small business someday. He plans to buy ranch when he retires, but I disagree because I want a small business so we can still earn while we are retired. I don’t like to be out of income when I retire, I told him we still need to earn when we are old because the older you get the more expenses comes, the hospital bills is the worse one. I’ve seen all bills of my grandma in St lukes, it cost millions for several years, and compared to others they couldn’t even afford the latest chemo, we paid the latest one the doctors collaborate with the doctors in USA, it’s all huge expenses and i saw some patient in the hospital who can’t afford everything and die miserably. We will all die but atleast money can make it a little pain free. So I told my fiance retirement is not enough to pay for all sorts of bills. So I want us to have our own business someday and so we wouldn’t be worried with medical bills and i want the best for both of us not a cheap hospital. A private room or VIP room in an expensive hospital is better. We will get old and weak and die someday, So the least that we can have is a decent way of dying and decent way of being six feet under. But my fiance is lucky atleast he doesn’t need to feed anyone from my family and we only have to take care of each other. Help is okay if some family member is in trouble then you can help but they need to pay for it. I mean they need to find a way to have income, they can borrow money for capital but not ask for free money. Some of my cousins married to white, it’s actually the other way around. My aunt don’t like her inlaws, her daughters always ask for money allowance monthly and all tuition fees for grandchildren. Their husband are not good with business so they remain employees. Even a 10t dollar monthly is not enough for all expenses. My aunt stil needs to send money for them. And my cousins earn more than their husbands too. I guess it just defends on what kind of family and race you get. We were thought never to ask, we need to earn it, borrowing is just for capital but you should always pay interest period. Independence is not just working, it’s also getting enough money for a good life and loyalty is important too. Husband is the boss and the king but the wife is the boss at home and the queen lols. Husband and wife should respect each other and take care of each other until their last dying breath that’s what marriage is all about. A friend, a lover, and a soulmate.

    3. Well, I’d have to disagree with you there. You must understand that not all Filipinas are like that; It depends where you find them.

  59. I understand that a filipina first loves thier family then their kids then their husband. God sais love god love husband love kids love self. Filipinas dont follow god. If they did there would be harmony. Therefore dont expect harmony from a filipina.

  60. I married a FILIPINA but totally refuse to financially support her young parents and 4 sisters and 3 brothers and their 7 kids. Her brothers and sisters range from 20 years of age to 29. They are not my problem. Her grandmother made the mistake of telling my wife 2 months ago “IITS ABPUT TIME YOU GET THAYT FOREIGNER OF YOURS TO SUPPPORT YOR FAMILY” — I WALkED to her house and and told her in very simple terms pracisely that. They are not my responsibility nor do I want to assume that responsibility. I advise all foreigners married to filipinas to do the same. Emotional blackmail does not work with me and it should not work with foreigners married to filipinas. Inthe first two weeks her family frequently entered our house unannounced attacked out frige. That happened some 10 times. I put a stop to it without hesitation.
    .

    1. oh wow! what kind of trouble did you get yourself into? You are being taken advantage! Tell your wife that you’re going to leave if she and her family shows such disrespect. Try it. Or how about move far away from her family, or find someone else much nicer. Life is short, don’t spend your life with someone that mean. There are many nice ones you know. I’m a pinay bty.

  61. I have dated some filipinas before.

    There’s a reason why these stereotypes exist, they exist because it does apply on many filipinas..

  62. My name is Joe
    I’m a nice active caring giving guy ,
    I really like Asian girls – not too young – my kids are 22-24
    I’m Avery young 56 – played soccer up till a few years ago and badminton 3 times a week now.
    I have no luck here in America- one thing after another- been divorced 5 years.
    Want an active – happy caring girl,in my life – not sure about new baby so must be at least 40
    Is there a city or area that’s best for singles?
    Or a service to meet ?
    I have many dates here but so much trouble – the last wants new house baby and dowry money for her mom !!

    Please help!!

    Joe

    1. Its also because we always seen, viewed western in movies and televission… Media brainwash filipinos the standard of beautify… Just dont mind those people, your not asking them for a food in your table anyway… Its not in the color, its with the smooth relationship you have with your partner and your kids…

    2. The best source is recommendation, you habe common friends knows its othee and at least you have an idea of the person your chatting with… The most common source is online dating, but it doest mean that your a constant chatter for a couple of weeks you already knows each other better… Looking a future partner online is like shopping online too, you need to study harder the specifications of the product…
      If you dont want a baby anymore, look for age above 40s, if you dont want to support the family look for independent woman
      Lay your do’s and dont’s, and lessen to her do’s and dont’s too… If both accepts it, then thats a good start…
      Im a filipina too, and I agree with your last sentence above, but not in general of Filipinas…. Opportunistic or unopportunistic doest describes by skin colors…
      If you dont want a baby anymore, look for above 40s or with kids already… If you dont want to support the family look for independent lady… If you dint want to give dowey, look for a city girl most (not all) of native filipinos practiced dowry…
      I married a white guy also, me and my siblings are professionals my parents are retired… I spend my own money for our communication because I know that whites culture are independent, you earn you spend kind of thing… I share my own hard earned money to my parents…
      I hope this helps you…
      If you have more questions feel free to email me… [email protected]

    3. Intention is everything. check for the ff:
      – does the girl have a high paying stable job? high paying jobs are plenty in the PH. Rule out bar girls, store clerks, baristas and other blue collar jobs
      – does she speak good English? English is taught in schools in PH since kindergarten. Any Filipina who does not speak good English may not be well-educated, hence she maybe looking for a get-rich-quick route, i.e., marriage to a white guy
      – is her family self-sufficient? do they all have jobs? if not, her family might see you as a milking cow
      – does she live in the ghetto? there are good neighborhoods and bad neighborhoods in the PH. Ghetto folks are generally not so good for marriage.
      – does she come from a good college? Is she even college-educated? Education is a priority here.

      I’m a landlady and as they as they say in the rental business, screening the tenant eliminates 90% of a landlady’s problem. Same with relationships. Just don’t get drowned with all the female attention coming your way. The scammers will go for you hard and fast! You will feel like a sex rockstar here. Its part of the scammer’s ploy. Be prepared for that and don’t get sucked in. Take your time and look at other options.

      TL;DR – check for education, career, family background, neighborhood, family ties/attitudes, English skill. and don’t buy your own hype.

  63. Hi Ms. BZFLAG..been following you and Jon for almost over a year now..uhm…….would it be alright if I repost this article in my blog zaryasonata.wordpress.com properly crediting you and this site i’ll put in a straight link so people can find the original post.. but I’ll understand if it cannot be posted outside this blog..thank you 🙂

    1. Post
      Author

      Please Mae, feel free but is it possible not to copy the whole content and just the parts of it then redirect them to our page? Just avoid duplication, Mae! Thank you! =)

  64. You are with a white man because you have a racial inferiority complex. You Worship whiteness as a standard of beauty and hate your filipino features. You would never be with a dark skinned expat.

  65. Can I talk to you guys on my sometime? I married a filipino and I’m curious if they are doing the same things as she does in a marriage. Get back to me please. Christmas is down this year :'( thanx-phoenixjayson on fb

  66. You are a lovely couple!! 🙂 and those who took their time to share their wonderful stories here, i’m very happy for you guys.

    I feel very fortunate to have come across this article; since recently I’ve been searching through articles and blogs to give me an idea what I’m getting myself into with possibly dating a foreign guy.
    I’m 24y/o and currently studying again. After a graduating in 2011 and passing my board exam for nursing; the next year, I started studying what I really love which is Fashion Design. I feel blessed that my parents understood me and still supported me about it, so I’m working really hard to really build myself in this career. i have been really busy and ever since my 1st bf (that was 3 yrs ago), I haven’t really had a chance to meet new people; my surrounding wasnt exactly suitable to meet guys (let’s face it, fashion school means girls and gays. haha no straight guys)..

    So my bestfriends (backstory: one of my bestfriends met her current bf of 2 yrs in this speeddating event that was organized by one of her very close friends. She is now in Canada and her bf is planning to follow him and settle down so they can get married soon. :), wanted me to try speed dating. Just for fun and if everything goes well, possibly meet someone. But I always say no and since im really busy, I couldn’t find the time.

    Then few months ago my bestfriend tagged me on the speeddating event again. They were really insistent and they wanted to treat me just so I would try. So I ended up saying yes, not really expecting anything. And then, I me this Finnish guy. I already saw him across the crowd and i thought to myself, “why would someone like him be here?” and i’m really not into foreign guys except possibly koreans or japanese, so i thought “i don’t have to say yes to him,”.. and then when we talked during the event, he really made a good impression on me. 🙂

    Unexpectedly, I said “yes” to him and we found out that we said “yes” to each other.
    Eversince the event we’ve been talking and he was always asking me when can we meet but, due to my busy sched I couldn’t immediately say yes. But next week, we might finally have our coffee date. 🙂 I really want to see him and talk to him since we only have 3mins to talk on the event, but im also hesitant because of how we see pinays with foreign guys. I don’t want other people to get the wrong idea of seeing me with me. Besides that fact that he is a foreigner, I think he is also in his early 30s. I talked to my bestfriends about it and they said it shouldn’t matter because I’m not a gold-digger or prostitute, I’m a well- educated and well-mannered Filipina so why should i feel bothered. But I still feel a little worried though.

    When I read your article, i felt kind of reassured that I’m not alone and there are a lot of happy and successful pinay-foreigner relationships out there. I’m not saying that we will end up together, but atleast I don’t feel so worried anymore about seeing being with him (and I know that is unfair for him to think that way). I think i will still have this worry at the back of my mind but i hope ill be able to conquer so that i could really find the time to get to know him.

    Thank you again for this article! 🙂

    1. Hi BZFLAG Medina,

      Thanks for that post, well thought of. Could you please help me answer this question. Im married to a black guy and we have 3 beautiful children, people here in the Philippines constantly ask me why a married a black guy and not a white guy? why are so many Filipinos obsessed with going out with a white guy?

      Thanks

      1. Post
        Author

        Rebecca, it’s just the mentality in our country because of American colonialism.. never mind them, the most important thing is you love your partner!

      2. Because they want white skinned children. People here in Philippines all want beautiful white skin, and skin is very important in Asia. You can see so many lotions and soaps and whitening pills. Having a smooth white skin is important. It is fresh looking and it looks beautiful on most people. Plus having pointed nose is better. People are so concerned with how their children will look like. We have to admit beauty is the first thing we see before the personality. Skin and facial features is very important and the height and weight too. We want to good looking children, and if you can have it why would you settle for something less. I guess it defends on what you can have. When the child grows up the appearance is important and the education, you apply for a job you need to look good and to be smart. The world is a very competitive place to live in, we want our children to be able to survive fair enough, we don’t want discrimination and judgement for our children. You cannot deny that Philippines is obsess with beauty and it’s easy to fall in love with beauty, especially if the beauty is inside and out. you cannot blame that people just want the best, if not the second best or else maybe some will end up with the last on the line.

    2. i dated one american before also, he was also in his early 30s. i wanted to meet him, but i was very hesitant cos i felt embarassed specially about the what people would usually say if they see me with him. he was a nice man so i tried to meet him secretly. whenever we were together i would hesitate walking beside him, i never held his hand in public,i was always conscious whenever we were in a restaurant. he was a good looking american, very fit, i liked him and i would feel bad that i would be embarassed. until after a month of consistently seeing him, someone saw us and my family knew about it, and i had no choice but to introduce him to them. which i regretted most cos we broke up after 6 months cos he chose travelling over me. all throughout our relationship he never understood the fight i kept fighting against society, against my family, and against myself. if you are strong enough, you go for it, but if you are not sure yet about it, dont introduce him to anyone. just my advice.

  67. I am a Filipina with a Belgian guy. We’re together for almost 11 yrs now. Though he helped me enter Europe and shoulder some of the expenses, after finding my own job I paid him back even more than what I owed him. I have my own stable job earning almost the same as him. I handle my own earnings & I give my share of expenses. I help my family NOT him. During vacation it is a 50/50 share. I even pay my own ticket to Philippines back & fort. I am building my own house without his help that is why it is taking that long to finish it off. It does annoy me when Filipino people tell me I am lucky having a white guy in my life. He is lucky he have me.

  68. Spot on! I totally agree with everything you wrote! I just recalled some memories from the past. Its really sad and dissapointing how other fellow filipinos reacts when they know someone is dating a foreigner or seen with a foreigner. They think you become rich and lucky for having a “white man” grrr still annoys me when i hear those words and worst even my relatives expects so much some relatives you were not close before acts to be your best friend.. Sad but so true.. The problem is they judge to quickly without asking and they assume so fast thinking they know everything.. Typical filipinos.. Well based on my experience.. One time we were walking from NAIA terminal 3 going out to save money from taking airport taxi so we decided to walk to take taxi outside the airport and we passed a security personnel who shouted ” ang swerte nyo nakabingwit kayo ng puti” good for him i was abit far from him, tired from the travel and prayed for patience from God towards people with small minds if not i would have punched him so hard. Its very disrespectful not just to me but to him.Seriously! Its really offensive to hear that and its not funny either.. We had a vacation in boracay for a week and the expenses were paid by both of us. He has work and i have also thats the reason why we work to save and spend. Respect is what everybody needs and most of all lets mind our own lives..??

    1. I am a filipina and i am living with a foreigner for a little over 4 years now…we met through a dating site..and i must confess i have been called out with different names…..gold digger is one of them…i dont blame them for he is 40 years older than i am….but just like what they said,age doesnt matter..and what other people think about us and our relationship is totally out of our business.what we feel is what we feel..i came from a poor family…i finished high school and became a nanny…i never imagined my life will change forever 6 years later…when we met i kind of knew i liked him before meeting him in person(for the record i arrived exactly on time).And the moment we saw each other eye to eye i knew he is the one…he was 61 and i was 21 at that time…some people told me to marry or to date a man your age..but in my case it doesnt even matter…we knew what we felt for each other wasnt love..but we respect each other and we liked each others personality.. and then he asked me (not even a month after we met ) if i could live with him…and if i wanted to finish school and i said yes!..for the first 6 months of being together was the hardest for me..well of course the age gap was one of the reason..but later on he and i talked about our indeferences and we accept it for the sake of us…we wanted to make the relationship work..he is not rich but he loves me very much and i feel the same to him…now 4 years later we are going stronger than ever..we are head over hills in love with each other..for me he is the blessing from God.Now i am a graduating college student..taking up criminology…yes im living a good life now but it was never my intention to date a foreigner just for that though some filipinas think otherwise but not all so people should stop generalizing….it is so wrong for some people to think that filipinas just wanted to be with a foreigner for the sake of good life..it just happens that you dont know who you are destined to be with the rest of your life..

  69. Nice to see a lot of feedback and comments on this article, but sadly not all filipina-foreigh relationships are fairytale endings. One part of the article mentions about filipinas depending on men for money. Ha, snorted out loud from that part because of my experience. I did a year long post grad internship at a luxury hotel in US. I was dating a guy who works as a chef in one of the restaurants we always go to. long story short, i was paying for all of our dates, he moved in with me for a couple of months and not even sharing one penny for the rent and utilities and groceries and to top it all, he owes me money too. I don’t know if i was just too nice *because i was just trying to help him out* or just young and stupid. And if i was like the stereotypical filipina most people would think of if they found out about this, i would’ve said yes when he proposed. Instant green card right? Yes, he did ask me to marry him right before i left. maybe i’m just too traditional or a hopeless romantic but i actually want my first marriage to be my only one. And i’m not ready to settle down. I’m too young for that.

  70. Hi,

    I enjoyed reading your article, it’s a good thing that stereotypical scenarios are discussed, I agree with you and majority of the people who are independent and who love their foreign partners without conditions. I’m filipina and also married to a white guy he’s Czech, I met him when I was still working as event planner in Kuwait and he’s still a student that time, we are 4yrs in relationship, and we just gotten married last year after he graduated in college, then lands a job and bought a place for us in Prague, the funny part was the surprise reactions I get from people whenever they learned that our age difference is just 1 yr. When I had my visa interview they told me that our situation is very unusual it’s because they’re used to 10-30yrs relationship gap between foreigners marrying a Filipina. So to independent filipinas out there who took the risk of falling in love to a foreign man Im proud of you for braving the relationship. May we all live happily in our own fairytale.

  71. I agree with you. I met my fiance here in cebu. He was for vacation in manila and decided to visit me here. I am a fil-chi, a BSN graduate and also an MBA postgraduate. I have work in an international school here in cebu, and also being a banker and a customer service associate in a british company. Yup! Before we met, i have a good education and work already. I dont love him because of his money, or his visa or anything. I love him the way he is, the way we love to be in each others arms. And yeah we will get married soon.

  72. I love this article! straight to the point and it is exactly what I want to tell everyone, not only filipinos but foreigners alike! I am an IT professional back in the Philippines, and moved here in the US to marry the man I love. I dated him because he is the only person who could carry on with my weirdness, and could understand the true meaning of independence. I also love travelling and my husband loves it too! The first questions and comments of some people back in the Philippines when they found out I am married with a white man was, ‘kaya pala lagi kang asa labas ng pinas dahil sa puti eh!’ I’m like, hey I work too.. he works. kanya kanyang bayad din po kami. And yes, I also work as an IT professional here in the US too, because I have received comments like, ‘wow ang swerte naman, ang sarap na ng buhay mo dyan hindi ka na mamomroblema sa pera dahil kay puti!’. LOL! I guess it’s not only dating white men, but some people tend to stereotype the Filipina woman alone, which should be submissive to the man, and if she is also dating a Filipino man, people will always comment Filipinas are dependent to a man.

    1. We’re on the same boat. Im working as a nurse sa pinas and a white guy introduced to me… Bago ako umalis sa pinas, ang sabi pa libre ka naman mayaman kana eh… Sinabihan ko di porke puti mayaman na, kung ganyan pag.iisip mo di ka aasinso… Sinupalpal ko cuz I cant stand such kind of mentality… Naulit pa, buti ka Jan richy nah, Sinabihan ko “ma pinas ka or sa ibang bansa, kung magkano ang kita mo Ganun din ang gastusin mo.. Nasa tao na yan kung marunong o dimarunong mag.ipon at mag budget”
      Si sad mentality Pero tutuo may Ganun…

  73. I love this article! It gave justice to Filipinas who is loving, falling in love with and have loved foreign men.

    When I met my ex boyfriend, an Australian Navy aged 26, I was already a junior law student (23). We fell in loved . The relationship lasted for 4 years. He met my parents, we were supposed to get married but the problem was his job in the navy and my unwillingness to renounce my Philippine citizenship and would stay in Australia.

    Hahahah! Life’s and love’s choices.

  74. Good one! I’m going steady with a Turkish guy. What you’ve posted on here are typical stigmas for Filipinas dating foreigners. But my case is slightly atypical so I can just almost relate to it. When I started dating my partner, it’s just plain boy meets girl–nothing else. But when I introduced him to everyone who needed to be informed that I’m dating a foreigner, and to top it, a Muslim–therefore, not your usual European/US white guy, it’s a different level of stereotypes! I’ve heard everything: “What will happen if you get married? Are you going to Convert?” “Don’t convert!” “Your children have to be Catholic.” “Is he an extremist?” “Sunni/Shia? Don’t continue if he is not sunni!” “How good is his English?” “Is he rich?” “Do they live in the desert?” “I bet he thinks you are exotic!” “Can he send us a gifts?” blahblahblah. Usually, whatever they assume my partner or this relationship is like is incorrect. I would often want to preach that it’s a lot simpler, more romantic and a lot less opportunistic.

  75. i really love what is written here, why? because i am also one of those pinay like you who proud to stand up on her on, and at the same time fell in love with a great loving foreign,
    (which is by the way my husband now ^^)

    my husband knew from the start i am an independent woman since i was young,
    and he admire this so much since his past relationships with other pinay before were unfortunately
    different.

    also i can relate to the visa thing, i was very clear with him that i dont need his visa, and i cannot count how many times i explain this to other people especially when the time i was processing my documents for marriage,
    i only want where my husband is, even it means middle earth LOL.
    i was also proud of myself that i was able to share some travel expenses and wedding expenses with my husband, which is actually seems shocking for my family and friends who heard this,
    but i dont care, they may think differently but to me, this should be the case,
    this will also help me in the long run to survive in this world. im independent woman after all ^^

    i hope this blog of yours be read by more people so other pinoy will know also that not all woman are always after for foreigners money or anything.
    but whatever the reason other pinay have for marrying or getting in a relationship with foreigners i respect them 100% for they have all the right to do what they wish to do, only i hope, people will not generalize things just because Maria did and blame it also to Juana ^^

  76. Hi Ate BZFLAG,

    I have been a fan of your blog ?. I can relate on you, since I travel south east Asia last year I met a lot of foreigners. I would say that even foreigners think of that too on filipinas. But the foreigners that I met on my travel they knew my family had money and give it to me when I travel. But I met this Danish guy on the hostel that I’m staying at SG. Actually on that hostel they calling me serial dater because I go out mostly with boys at SG. Lol. On all the people that I met on that travel I date this Danish guy since he loves PH. So he became close to me and our group of foreigner friends teasing us together so we ended up dating. But unfortunately I need to go back to PH, but we still talking at Facebook, Skype and whatsapp. But after 3 weeks he follow me to PH he stay for 10 days, so I wanted to introduce him to my friends but they thought I’m just using him to get money. But when he stay at PH we eat at resto we share paying for our food. Then I move unfortunately we broke up because I move here in Dubai and he go back to Denmark. So LDR didn’t work for us because he meeting a lot of people on his travel. Then now I am dating a French guy here at Dubai, so my friends here they thought I’m using him too. But I prove them wrong I have good work and good salary. But when we are going out together people looking at us, mostly Filipinos. Sometimes it bothers me being really judge even him. Because he is white they thought when we are at mall he while buy something for me but no. Even on my birthday he wants to buy something for me and a expensive thing that I really wanted but I insist that I can buy that. He just paying for our food on the restore that we went to since he was so happy seeing me eat at the food that I crave a lot. Lol so in return I’m buying this that he needed at his apartment. People so judgmental about it mostly Filipinos. Since we are exploring new things about both of us, but we are so happy being together right now. I hope ou love story would end up like yours in the future 🙂

  77. First of all, congratulations on the engagement! I wish you both the best. Second, the article is great and very inspiring. I am seeing a caucasian man who I met through work and it’s been great. Some of my friends always tease me that well, this is to get into a country with a better economy, pretty children, better passport, etc. and I just laugh along with them. But the truth is it does hurt a bit when they say that because I’m just really enjoying this man’s company and he does seem to feel the same. We are both happy and that should be enough.

  78. One thing I have noted including the writer of this blog is that 99% of phillipino women, irrespective of their socio economic and educational background, have very slavish attitude towards ‘white skin’. Make no mistakes about it. If you observe a little bit close, the writer mentions about her preferred partner’s ‘genes’ which are ‘white’ and that’s almost every philippino women’s choice by default. The thinking is If you have white skin you are automatically good in everything and that I guess is because of centuries of colonization of their country by european countries with white population the general environment in Philippines where the people are surrounded by media projecting anything ‘white’ as good/better/superior. Those skin whitening cosmetic ads are a small example.

    If you’re skinned guy, you have very high chance of success with philippino women. I say this by practical experience where a very handsome looking, highly qualified and successful guy was repeatedly rejected by educated phillipino women because of his brown skin whereas the same jumped to date very average white skinned men. This trend I’ve observed more than enough with ppino women of all classes. So,If you’re a white fellow, it’s pretty easy. And some educated ppino women write blogs like these to justify their choice and feel good about themselves.

    This is my personal observation of ppino women for about a decade.

    1. Also, If you observe the photos of phillipino women on this page, they are ALL with white men. That should give you a clue on how their brains function. This is quite unique to phillipines and east and south east asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam, China etc. There are many other equally poor if not more poor countries in the world but you wont find this attitude of ‘White Worship’ with women in those countries.

    2. In addition to your comment, I also think it’s worthy of note that there are a lot of half white /half FILIPINA people that are celebrities in the Philippines and I believe is an upward trend. That bolsters the idea that if you marry a white man your children could be a famous actor/singer/athlete /beauty pageant winner. The sad fact is that idea is passed down from generation to generation as well.

    3. You’re funny, the whitening lotions and soap did not make people want to be white. They are there because people demand for it. White flawless skin looks better and you cannot deny that. Who wants a dark skinned full of acne or blemishes? You cannot blame people for wanting to have white flawless skin. It’s very important. Face is very important because you show it to the world. You cannot possibly talk to someone and hide your face. And not all white will be wanted by the way, because some are fat, or ugly too. Skin is just one most important thing, second is the facial features and then the height and shape of body. And then we proceed with the income lols. We first judge a person by looks because we are not blind. We want the best, but if we cannot have the best then we get the second best, if still not possible we settle for the third , and so on and so fourth. So it also defends on the woman if she is equal to what she wants. But most women here in Philippines the ordinary ones will just settle for the old white, because they can’;t find a young white husband, most young white are still childish and irresponsible. The women think that even if the white guy is old he still gonna give them beautiful children. And some women are also after the good life. But well you cannot blame women for that, Like they said they are just using their head. But I do feel sad for the men though. If the skin is a problem to you then why don’t you try to lighten it up. Do something about your skin, if not try to find a filipina who don’t care much about skin. I’m sure there are many. You cannot possibly say all filipina will not want dark skin, why is there so many filipina married to filipino? with dark skin, and why is there filipina married to black men? there’s so many women so why do you want women that don’;t want you? i’m sure there will be women that are okay with dark skin just keep looking.

  79. Don’t date foreigners who act very feminine! Let my story be a warning to all who read this.

    So I met a nice guy from UK who was serious at first then funny but he was very strange in his speaking and mannerisms like he was acting overly-emotional and would say things on skype video like “Oh my God where did you get those earrings?? They are so ADORABLE I bet you get sexy looks from all the men when you go out looking so fine!” but he said it in a highly feminized voice like he was trying to be sassy.

    Then he started saying how he loves me for me but that he find himself once he gets here. So I meet him at airport and he is wearing green shirt and PURPLE pants and a PINK TIE with his blonde hair spiked up with purple highlights! The jeans were extra tight and he had green ear muffs and was wearing leather boots with high heels!

    He has never dressed this way before but I knew it was him! I wanted to turn away but I knew if I left him alone he will find a bakla and won’t spend any time with me on the trip and I was right!!! I tried to calm him down but he kept getting people’s attention because of how he was dressed and he was walking like a runway model at a fashion show it was so embarrassing!

    At this point I knew the guy was crazy and that he didn’t love me. We spend the first 2 days together and on the third day he just said he will go to a meeting for his business partner’s legal representative to take care of some boring paperwork but I saw his instagram and he went to the most unusual party I have ever seen in my life. He was taking pictures with a bunch of different people and they were laughing and having a good time then I get a text from him telling me he has to stay another night.

    Then I don’t hear from him all week and I just call him to see if he’s okay and that’s when I learned he really just came here to party and that he has a wild side that only can be satisfied on a sailboat cruising from port to port along the philippine coast while high on meth. I was so shocked and his behavior was so crazy. Please just know that some foreigners are like that and don’t waste your time on guys like him. They act serious but then they come to the Philippines and think that they can act however they want is just so sad and heartbreaking because the guy seemed so perfect and just what I wanted.

    Foreigners come in all types so be careful what the guys can do when they come here and don’t be surprised if they change suddenly when you meet them for the first time!

    1. Sorry to hear of your experience but I can assure you all foreigners are not like that.
      There are the occasional good ones too. I saw my girlfriend from the Philippines across a crowded room in Dubai and fell in love with her immediately. In that moment I said to myself “if i dont speak to this lady I will regret it for the rest of my life”. For me this was an amazing way to react. I approached her and now we are to be married. In all races there are good and bad. I adore my girlfriend and I know I will for as long as I live. Her happiness will be my happiness. We will have a family and I will look after her. So dont give up or become negative because of one bad experience. There is luck involved in meeting people. In this instance you have been unlucky but you only have to be lucky once. I have been and now everything is sorted. Best of luck and dont give up.

    2. lols I remember a classmate before, he is weird. He is actually gay and he pretended to be a man and wanted to court me. He was just acting like a man because he wants money from me. He thinks it’s best for him to be a man since he is financially problematic. He started hanging out with me and acted weird lols. But actually he is not even good looking to begin with so it adds to the weirdness. Some gay will also want a girl for money so it’s not really new to me. He thinks I am okay since I look good and I have money so he needs to make himself manly ha ha.

  80. I dated an Australian man because I have the same thinking that they are straight forward and when they like you, they really do. I was wrong with this one. I kept my eyes open and discovered that there are many other filipinas that he simultaneously flirt/romanticize online on Facebook, chat apps, Instagram, Skype and I don’t know what else. It was devastating that this Australian man is a department store manager in Sydney and seemed to be decent, but completely not! He string along a lot of filipinas at the same time and I feel that he is taking advantage of filipinas. #AJH

    1. Sorry but it is about TIME some of you phillipinos get a taste of your own medicine. Hunting down pathetic Aussie men who will GIVE you everything you ask for is your GAME PLAN. Looks like this one just backfired!!!

  81. Time well spent reading this. I am in a relationship with a super frugal but totally wonderful Dutch gentleman. We met online but the connection was instant. Having read your blog made me realized how much of an independent woman I am. I liked him because he is a heck of a smart (or genius) man and I am learning so much about him. And we like each other because we like traveling, movies, reading, I can go on and on. And right now, I’m in he process of getting a Schengen visa, with the goal of touring the whole of Europe and with him. 😀

    And for women who stereotype foreign men online, you’d find really awesome, great men and not just perverted, icky ones. I’ve found one and I’m hoping he’s the one. We both love nature and landscapes and he cannot wait to go to Benguet and Mayon next year. I think the only dilemma that we have is that he doesn’t like our summer and summer temperatures. HAHA!

    And BZFLAG, you look perfect together. Picture perfect. I’d look forward to reading more stuff from you.

    xOxO

  82. Filipinas of this type are really inclined into hooking up with westerners. Pattern-proven. This types, find westerners more inreresting than the male counterpart on their own country.

  83. All she’s trying to self explain above is actually Lies or manipulative stuff. With Filipina girls or women, there is NO unconditional love for white guys IF there is not potential benefits like 1) Green card or Citizenship in western countries esp America; 2) Money; 3) Gifts – for these girls and their families; 4) Taking care of them & their families, for life. And so on.

    Uncountable numbers of stupid guys fell into their traps. Open your eyes, dudes !

  84. I can tell very few Filipina are not bad having intention to get married to western guys. But I bet almost 100% of them want to marry white guys because of all given items in the lady’s self-explanation above.

    Here is the true story. You White guys gotta watch out.

    I got this posting on the wall of a friend of mine.

    Filipina single mom want western, American guy or American citizen.
    Write or call me (Abigail R Flores, mailing address: #101 Tanqui Lubong, City of San Fernando La Union Philippines 2500.
    Phone number: +639398249630).
    I am also 24/7 on my Facebook (nick Chary Hope or Abigail Flores).
    Get my photos or webcam on .

    My friend is a computer technician. I asked her about the story. She said her friend’s husband did have an online chat with this chicks. That idiot is married, has an amazing wife and good & fun marriage, but he still did stupid things like flirting and playing around with the chicks. That chic trying to say to the foolish guy sugar coated words just to get money and possibly American citizenship. The guy sent her money, and trying to hide his wife. Then his wife found out these craps. The guy is doing pastoral job and ministries together with his wife. I’m pretty sure this guy gonna lose his face and the good woman he has ever had. The most foolish thing is to trade the marriage for a garbage relation and give money to those hookers.

    I bet any of you get in a chat or with that chic, you’ll see better why Filipina girls & women try to hook white guys.

    1. I respect your opinion and perspective in life mister but I think posting the pilipina women name, address, number are too much, dont be so hard to her in behalf of pilipina who.treated you bad I am very sorry just dont do this again please you are taking her life at risk. Think if this things happened to you mom,sister,daughter. Thanks I hope you get it now may God always bless you.

    2. well it’s both stupid people. The woman is a whore and the guy is a womanizer. They both deserve hell. I know someone to that is a mistress of a woman here, he is married to white woman and he has mistress here in philippines. He send her 50k monthly. She is desperate for visa but the problem is the american cannot divorce the wife. SO all family applied tourist visa and were all denied. I ask why is your daughter still hanging on to that stupid relationship? She cannot possibly be married to him? The mother said he sends her allowance we can’t let him go. 🙂 I do see a lot of this kind of people, I even met a very wealthy employer before also a mistress to a rich guy. Some women will really do everything to get money. But you have to blame the guy too, he is a stupid asshole womanizing freak! he’s wife needs to chop off his penis lols.

  85. I had been in California for almost 20 years. What I know is if she falls in love with him that is entirely true love regardless of age, gender, race and religion. I’m a Filipino man divorced with Filipina and I met a Filipina who got recently went through a divorce also and was married with a Caucasian male. I was pursuing for her since she’s single again but she already gave me a “signal.” Few months ago, we had a co worker’s party and she brought her date which is Caucasian male. Her and I are almost on our 40s. Looks like the guy is in his 60s. Its pretty awkward feeling. From that time, I stopped and realized she only likes white males. After few weeks, I heard from a friend that the she said, it he was only his neighbor and not in a serious relationship. Its funny because she sent me a text before that doesn’t pertain to me. She accidentally sent which is actually supposed to be for her boyfriend from Canada, a foreign man. She said it was embarrasing when I texted back saying, “I think you sent it to the wrong person.” Definitely the trust is gone. She explained that its only her friend even though it says, ” Good morning babe. ” I like Filipina women than any race yet I kept on having bad experiences with them. True, I always met the wrong women for me. However, those ones that married other races and worked out are gems which happened with my sister in law. She’s married to a Caucasian male and had two beautiful children. As of now I’m planning to go back in the Philippines this coming December. There is a saying in Tagalog, “Huwag mong hanapin at kusa na lang darating sa’yo.” Maybe she’s somewhere out there waiting for me. Filipinas are unique, their most loving and caring. Some are good and some are not so good. ” Sana matagpuan ko sya, kailangan lang ng dalangin at maghihintay din ako. ”

  86. Filipinas lie and hide a lot. I had 3 girl friends. Two of them hide that they were married. In that one person has 3 kids; that I came to know only after 5 yrs! When I had visited Philippines she did not take me to her house. But still I trusted her. It is big stupidity trusting Filipinos. At the end of the day I lost valuable 10 yrs from my life. I regret that I didn’t choose a woman from my own place. Age is counting to 40 now. Note: I did not used them for sex.

    1. I find it hilarious on how you generalized that “Filipinas lie a lot.”

      I didn’t know you met ALL the filipinas in the world to have the audacity to make that statement. Lols.

      Some of us actually are well mannered, honest, and do not tolerate sterotypical bigots like you 😉

      1. While I’ll agree, you can never categorize any race or nationality like that but you also must be aware that for myself, as a foreigner, it’s becoming a difficult task to meet the ones that aren’t.. I hate to say things like this but am really frustrated when I meet one that seems legit and somewhere down the line starts to act in similar ways to the previous one.. I am by far not even hinting that they are all like this, hence the reason I would love to meet one, but if I may, would you please tell me in which directions to steer my search? I know they’re out there, but it’s pretty discouraging when u keep running into the ones giving the bad fame to the humble ones.. I hope I didn’t offend you or anyone else by this, since I definitely wasn’t looking to do so..Thank you and God Bless =)

  87. Hello, this article had just been forwarded to me by a friend who happened to stay with us here in hk, and yes I can relate to all of this. I am a filipina married to an English guy too and he is even 6 years younger than me and most would joke that I have cast a spell on him as he was a bachelor when we got married since 1997, and not only that we got married 3 times, first in HK, then in the Philippines and in England. We were blessed with 5 kids and for the 18 years of being together, our marriage is beyond our expectation, of course we bicker over silly things once in a while but 99% of the time we have laughter. Is he rich? No, he is an engineer just earning enough to support us, i have been a housewife eversince, despite being a licensed chemical engineer, in our household he earns , i take charge of the budget, he has so much respect in me. Is he supporting my family? Nope, never, when we visit we only pay for our outings , my mom was just happy feeding us, we bought parcel of lands from my mom at a very cheap prices..his parents assests is just their house and lot, my family have lands and businesses that can support them…i think the bottom line is Marry for Love, if you marry for other reasons, expect a lot of hiccups, and if you met guys at a bar at wee hours well as far as i have known filipinas here who had met their partners that way they ended up heartbroken. Oh before i forget, our marriage had been strong from the start because we put Christ in it.

  88. nuff said.i super agree on you.i met my fiance in couch surfing.he was couch surfing and ed me if i can host him.but i said no.but we met.we became officially a pair.he is not rich but i love him.infact, he never send money to support me and whenever we go out on a date we always split the bill.

  89. I met Australian guy 2 years ago online and we started sharing our own stories with how we struggle the hardship of life. I stopped communicating to him online then he stopped sending me letters to my workplace for almost a year. We took different paths of life, met different people that test us until we found another way to communicate again this year and told me he’s all booked up to go visit his sponsor kids from Philippines and to look for me since he still have my work address, to personally ask me what happened. He stayed here for over a month and I can proudly say we’re both lucky that we got to spend time together, grow with each other and share all our expenses from transportation, to the foods we ate, to the groceries we bought even to the smallest stuff to buy and to share. He’s now back to Autralia but before he left, he proposed to me and now we’re getting married in August of this year. Just wanna share our story and let the people know that for my own opinion and for most Filipina as well, having a foreign partner (boyfriend/girlfriend) is not about the money, not about the big house, not about the genes, not about the Visa, not about the material things but to;
    1. how many memories we shared to each other, which we will be able to laugh and talk about for years and years to come.
    2. the way he make me feel as a girl, a friend, a woman and a girlfriend.
    3. how he encourage me that I’m going to be the absolute best mother and wife around.  
    4. how he never made me feel less than absolutely the most beautiful girl in the world and have always made me laugh until I pee, literally.  
    5. the infinite amount of support and love we get from each other.

    Thank you BZFLAG for this! God bless you and Jo Jo.

  90. I met Australian guy 2 years ago online and we started sharing our own stories with how we struggle the hardship of life. I stopped communicating to him online then he stopped sending me letters to my workplace for almost a year. We took different paths of life, met different people that test us until we found another way to communicate again this year and told me he’s all booked up to go visit his sponsor kids from Philippines and to look for me since he still have my work address, to personally ask me what happened. He stayed here for over a month and I can proudly say we’re both lucky that we got to spend time together, grow with each other and share all our expenses from transportation, to the foods we ate, to the groceries we bought even to the smallest stuff to buy and to share. He’s now back to Autralia but before he left, he proposed to me and now we’re getting married in August of this year. Just wanna share our story and let the people know that for my own opinion and for most Filipina as well, having a foreign partner (boyfriend/girlfriend) is not about the money, not about the big house, not about the genes, not about the Visa, not about the material things but to;
    1. how many memories we shared to each other, which we will be able to laugh and talk about for years and years to come.
    2. the way he make me feel as a girl, a friend, a woman and a girlfriend.
    3. how he encourage me that I’m going to be the absolute best mother and wife around.  
    4. how he never made me feel less than absolutely the most beautiful girl in the world and have always made me laugh until I pee, literally.  
    5. the infinite amount of support and love we get from each other.

    Thank you BZFLAG for this! God bless you and Jo..

  91. Very well-said BZFLAG.. who cares about our preference and who cares whom we choose to love! it’s not for anyone to decide but ours.. right? =)

  92. Good to read success stories. I am married to an older British man here in the Philippines and everyone in my office expected me to resign from my work and his British friends accused me of only after the visa or citizenship. My husband is is not that very well off but he had a fair amount of money from the sale of his previous house after his divorce and some advance from his private retirement pension which we used to buy properties here in the Philippines. I continued working and plan to apply for an early retirement not long after he retires so that we will have enough fund when we retire. I worked hard and also invested his money wisely for our retirement. I’ve been tagged as “kuripot, swapang etc” by friends since I don’t throw parties and I love bargains, sale and haggling. I love my husband very much and I intend look after him (he is 26yrs older), so I don’t think he just want a slave because I will be doing it voluntarily out of love. But sadly, everything turned sour when my husband met this prostitute in one of his night outs with friends. She did everything to seduce my husband and constantly asking weekly support from my husband. Worst, relatives of the prostitute met my husband and enticed him to speed up our annulment a month after my husband left. My husband now demands to get his share of the properties we invested, if not everything (according to his demand letter) because I learned that the prostitute girlfriend threatened to go back being a sex worker if her needs and demands cannot be provided by my husband. Things got more and more complicated but anyway, there is a sad truth that there plenty of opportunistic Filipinas out there together with their relatives who see white men as their ticket to better life at the expense of the legal wife 🙁

    1. Gen I think it was better to find out that you had married a weak willed man before you threw away any more years of your life. Although it causes you pain give him 50% share either in cash or the properties. He deserves nothing compared to your sacrifices.
      I trust you can find and make someone along with yourself very happy.
      .

  93. “I’m not lucky cuz I’m with a white man – we are BOTH lucky to have each other cuz we deserve the best!”

    No, you are not lucky, neither he is, neither both of you are lucky.
    He is probably torturing himself pretending to be lucky with you because he is probably very unlucky man with the women in his past. You don’t love him, so you are NOT honestly lucky with him. He is not handsome so you can’t possibly love him even if you are forcing yourself to love. yes you probably accepted himself and there are good moments when you feel happy but you are crying deeply inside your heart. yes he probably treats you well. unlike Filipinos, we foreigners have some manners and respect while Filipinos just humilating foreigners, laughing, mocking, despise, etc. in reality you are racists and haters towards foreigners. you destroying us and telling that we are racist. of course we are not racists but you filipinos make us hate your entire nation with what you done to us. i am 100% sure what i said is true. everyone who denies this is even an idiot or trying to hide the truth.

    I was living with my wife in the Philippines. I speak Tagalog pretty well. Her native dialect/language was tagalog. She was exactly like you, who doesn’t care for money. it’s not money problem between us. the relationship requires some responsibility, love, dedication to the partner. Filipinas fail in this category because they never marry to love someone. it’s true. i hope i die if i lie. i know exactly what is your relationship with white guy. you can demonstrate it as perfect. but it won’t last long if your white man has at least half brain in his head. i assure you that.

    1. Oh dear oh dear oh dear! Someone had a bad experience, ey?! Well, firstly, I am truly sorry that you had a bad time, I really am. I hope your life improves in some way or other.
      Secondly, I could spend a lot of time pulling your whole comment apart, piece by angry, bitter little piece, but having wasted far too much of my time dealing with people like you in the past, I know I would simply be banging my head against a brick wall. I believe that you are in fact 100% sure that what you say is true, so you’re not lying, you’re just so self-centred and self pitying that you believe 100% that your unfortunate personal experience must be exactly the same as everyone else’s. And if everyone else’s experience is not like yours, then they must be lying!
      Thirdly, you’ve obviously had a very hard time with whatever happened in your life and relationship in order to make you quite so bitter and angry, which is something that can happen in any country, in any culture, between people of any race. So I truly hope that you are able to get out of the hateful little hole you’ve found yourself in, (perhaps with some kind of professional help) and ultimately restore your mental health and quality of life.
      Accepting at least a tiny little bit of personal responsibility for the events in your own life would be a good first step.

      Peace, love and positive vibes. CO.

      P.S Don’t be a fool. Stay in school!

    2. “unlike Filipinos, we foreigners have some manners and respect while Filipinos just humilating foreigners, laughing, mocking, despise, etc. in reality you are racists and haters towards foreigners. you destroying us and telling that we are racist. of course we are not racists but you filipinos make us hate your entire nation with what you done to us. i am 100% sure what i said is true. everyone who denies this is even an idiot or trying to hide the truth.” – This statement alone, is telling the internet world what kind of person you are. Just like what my grandmother said, “Do not point your finger to anyone, cos the rest of your fingers are pointing towards you.” Go in the corner and reflect. I bet this is exactly the reason why, you encountered misfortune. It’s not about the people around you, it’s about you and of course, it’s about how you treat other people. Karma is a bitch. And we, Filipinas are bitches, unless you treat us humanely, just like any women in the West. We deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and respect. We are “foreigners'” partners, not their dogs. So, again, go to the corner most part of your whereabouts and reflect.

      1. You just need to learn to move on. Try to be a good man, and also try to find a compatible woman for yourself. The world is too big and the population is too much, i am sure there is someone out there that will be compatible to you. Life is not always perfect and finding a good match is the hardest thing to look for. Just try to be a good man, and find a good woman. Just keep searching for a good match. I met hundreds of men, I met all sorts of assholes, jerks and psychopaths, none of them pass my taste. I almost lose hope and finally after so many years i finally found the right one. And I can say I am a good catch and he is very proud of me. You just need to keep searching and keep looking, you need to meet more people. even if the world is 80% rubbish, there are still some few women that can be good. But like I said you need to be a good man to find a good woman. But the racist thing is sad but true many filipinos are racist, I have seen it because I live here in Philippines. It just so happen that there are many people here who never stops criticising everyone and they always make fun of almost everyone they see. They stare at blacks and call them negros and uling, or they call indians as 5/6 or bumbay and stinky people. or they call americans as perverts and maniacs and pedophiles, yes it’s true they do say so many nasty things bout others, like chinks and mongoloids. And they say foreigners don’t bath and are very filthy. But one thing for sure those people who say those things are actually lower in class they are mostly the poor and low class citizens. you don’t need to feel bad about it if you are higher than they are. I mean I am Chinese here in Philippines, and I am 100% sure i look better and have a wealthy life. I am not gonna be discriminated or be affected because the richest man in Philippines is Chinese and my family are all businessman and we all look good and super hygienic. We are better so they cannot possibly say those words to us or else they will borrow the face of the pig. They complain about others but they are actually much worse than foreigners believe me. The problem here in Philippines is many people are racist and too bad mouth and very arrogant and always jealous of good looking people with better lives. But we cannot really say all of them, there are a few that are okay, you just need to be with good ones. Stay away from the stupid ones with small brains. If you do understand tagalog then for sure you will understand what they are talking about, but never let your self be affected. I mean why will you be affected if you look better and have a rich life? Just be positive and make yourself a good man and maybe you can find a good woman. Try harder and i’m sure there’s still hope for you.

  94. “I am a intelligent woman and i don’t have serious boyfriend. Why? because i’m still young and i need to focus in my studies. How i wish i will meet a guy in the right time

  95. “Even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport, it’s their life choice.. Why do you care?”

    some people may care because SOME filipinas would scam and lie and do immoral stuff ONLY to get visa or passport. it can go as far as marrying them sololey for that reason. cheating isn’t it. that’s why some people care. however, even prostitution can be a life choice! shit!.

  96. I have seen this blog few months ago, but I just kept to myself my personal opinion about this. Then a friend of mine mentioned this again to me, so I finally decided to share my points of view as well :). I am speaking not just to defend myself against the judgemental people out there. I am speaking in behalf of all young Filipina who are married to foreigners older than us. And I am speaking in behalf those women who came from scratch or shall I say poor family and became quite well-off when they marry foreigners. I am not going to share how our lovestory with my husband began. As I read all the comments from different individuals here, I can see and say that most of them have something to say in terms of personal background. I was a single mother before. I came from a poor family. My parents were once farmers. They were just high school graduate actually. But because they really wanted to send us to school, they did everything. They accepted different jobs and struggled a lot just to provide us money for our tuition fees in the University. Fortunately, all their efforts were paid off when me and my 2 other siblings graduated and got a degree. Only one left who is still studying.
    Anyway, one of the things that I want to point out is, the moment you want to marry someone from other country, you really need to get a visa so you would be married and lived together. Unless if it’s just an arrange marriage or your partner wants to live in your homeland. In that case, a woman is not allowed to have one and you don’t need to get one either. People like us who can’t even afford to travel around Philippines really see this thing as a great opportunity and as a dream come true. We are just very lucky coz our partner wanted to be the one to make our dreams come true. 🙂 They really exerted efforts to gather the documents needed and they didn’t mind spending their money just for us to be with them. We have different lives. I am very thankful to God that I took this path. I don’t care what people would say. If you’ve encountered an approach like that, it’s just very simple to deal with. It is much worst for us who are married to older ones, to the point that people would really insult not just our dignity but the capability of our husband as well. For me, you don’t have to look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to be called a lovely couple. What’s important to me is my husband and I have a healthy relationship inside. We are happy and we happily looking after each other. Next, whether I need his money or not. It’s none of other’s business. As what my husband said, I am his wife so whatever he owns I own it as well. Excluding his soul..lol. He’s just very lucky that I am not a bad spender..lol. Let’s not mind how others are running their life. As long as they don’t bother us, we don’t have the right to man their lives. Another thing, this line that was highlighted SO DON’T TELL ME THAT WE FILIPINAS JUST STAY AT HOME, WAITING FOR OUR PARTNERS TO FEED US!

    Well, I am actually just a full housewife and I see nothing wrong with that. Let’s not forget way back hundreds of years ago, that was one of our traditions. Women were left in the house to keep everything in the house in order and sorted things out for the family. But obviously, it’s no longer applicable these days because of economic crisis. Men and women should hand in hand especially family in the Philippines. In my case, my husband and I agreed to that. That’s actually his idea. Although he was a bit reluctant to offer that set up coz he knew how workaholic I was before. I was working before I met him, 8 hours in a day and if I could still manage to get a part time job in the evening I would get it, to the point that I only slept almost 4 hours as I went home sometimes 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning, depending on the circumstances. Even if I am just a full time housewife, but I am looking after our house so well that my husband was very pleased the first time he saw how I changed and put everything in order in the house that he could finally say our house is not just a house but a home. When he comes home from work, his bread, marmalade and coffee are already prepared. When he sleeps at night, our beddings have been changed and massage oil is already ready for the massage session..hehe. That’s the life he wants for us. It’s not slavery, it’s love. That’s how we balance our attention. It doesn’t make me less value as well. His parents even see the reflection on his face how happy he is. His parents even told me I don’t need to work. Another thing, being independent does not only speak about Financial stability of your own. Just because you have your own money, you have work or you have a business, you would say that you are independent and others are not. It’s actually a case to case basis. I don’t work for the money I’ve got. But I can tell to myself I am independent in this foreign country where I am living in. I can attend to my important appointments without the need to be assisted by my hubby. I can buy things that we need without the fear that I might not understand what the cashier would ask. I can ride on a bus without worrying that I might get lost. I can eat in the restaurant and can ask the waiter for my order without confusing him. In short, I can do all things on my own without the help of my husband. I think that’s fair enough. Then the last one, as I’ve said I came from a poor family. But I’m very proud to say that I am the one paying for my brother’s tuition fee, giving support to my mother who is having health problems, and other helps for my family. I want to help them in every way I can. I can’t afford to see my parents going through hardships all their life. They are already a bit old. Since I am the one in the family who can assist them financially, then why not. I am just very lucky that God gave me a very caring, generous and a Family-Oriented husband. He has 4 children and widowed for 10 years but even if I have the chance to turn back time, I would still choose to love him and become his wife. He’s no longer that young, but how he loves me, accepted me for who I am, invited me to be part of his life are already priceless gifts that I would never ever exchange for anything. My husband is not that young but he is extraordinarily awesome. I remember he said something that really burst me into tears. “Your family is my family. I know they are very important to you, and because I love you I love them too”.
    As I’ve said all of us have taken different paths and different ways of running our lives. That’s why the word RESPECT is being created. We are just very lucky that we didn’t experience worst things that others are experiencing in life that made them “KAPIT SA PATALIM”. Whatever their decision in life, then let it be. After all it’s their life. At the end of the day they’re still the one who will suffer from their negative actions. Life is about happiness, and happiness is a choice. Whatever age of someone you love, whether he/she’s 10 years, 20 years, or 30 years older than you. Richer or poorer than you, as long as your feelings for each other is genuine and true, then there’s no need to explain why you love him and how your paths cross? The important is, despite being judged and being criticized, together you would fight for your love and never ever let anybody turn each one of you down. That’s my secret to my happiness, ignore the negative thinker and be an encourager. Base on my experience and the experiences of my friends, not only people out there who don’t have foreigner partners are confident to judge us that we are with old foreigners, actually some who have young foreign partners would also judge us. But the hell I care, this is my life, only our God has the authority to master my life. We’re not born in this world to please everybody. Live our life as long as we won’t contribute troubles to the lives of other people.
    Thanks for this blog of yours. I have the chance to express what’s inside my heart.

    1. Lady, I really enjoyed your thoughts, thanks for the enlightenment! I’m actually writing a new article and it will be published in a bigger site. I will be talking about different Filipinas’ experiences and I would love to add your story, is that okay with you?

      Thank you so much for bravely sharing your experience and I can feel the love you have with your husband! Positive vibes to you!

      1. You are very much welcome. 🙂 I just want to express my thoughts not through comparing what I’ve got but rather being open-minded and thankful. Anyway, this issue has been popular already many years ago. So the moment I engaged myself to the life I have now, I’ve already set my mind that every time we go out, it’s not impossible that people would look or stare at us. If they think that I am a gold-digger or I just after with my husband’s money, it’s fine with me. What’s important to me is, even once in our moments, my husband never ever think of me that way. He always appreciates every little things I’ve done and always thank me for coming to his life. And I thank him for loving me, not only me but my son especially, and my family as well. 🙂 Hmmmm…I’ll just enjoy myself reading your article when it’s finally publish. I would love to be part of your subject. But I’ve made a promise to myself that I will keep my life’s story to myself till I see my offspring become successful with their lives. Whatever path they’re going to take, as long as their hearts are with it and they are happy, then I could say that I am very much successful with my life. 🙂

    2. YOU ARE JUST A THEIF, NOTHING MORE THAN A THEIF!!! I feel sorry for your husbands children having to watch on as their Fathers lifes savings get dissipated by you into the hands of YOUR NEEDY FAMILY?? WOW REALLY?

    3. Now let me express what’s in MY heart! A Filipino stole my husband. I will never know what it feels like to have him home again. I had just given my life to him, and we had been married for a short time, months, but I waited for his return. Yes, he found her online. She takes NO regard to my feelings. He does not support me. He gives everything to her. We were married before the Lord for life, and I came home one day and he was gone.

      Don’t tell me your sob stories about going to university and paying for someone else. I have never had the luxury of going to university. I gave everything that I had to my husband. He had nothing when I met him. And now that he has a huge salary, I have not seen a single penny of it. It has all gone to his harlot.

      Isn’t that nice? We, as Christians, married for life, yet he is giving everything to her. My soul bleeds. Please don’t talk to me a single time again about Filipino. Just don’t.

  97. Sometimes it’s the pinoy men who are spreading lies about pinay girls having affair with a foreign men… They would easily labelled them as gold diggers or prostitutes because let’s face it pinoy men can’t find white girls to be their wife! (If there is, they are only a FEW!) and we all know why! Pinoy men’s penis are “smaller” than white men. So asian girl- white men are more sexually compatible and pinoy men- white girl couple are not! These bitter pinoy men thinks life is unfair… because white men can get gf from any race.. While filipibo men only pinay girls (lucky if foreign asian girl) And if they happen to have a male pinoy friend who has a white girl wife or gf they all think its like he hit a jackpot!

    1. so pinoy girls date white men because of their bigger penis!? ew. never happy never satisfied. shameful. it is because pinoy men did not control pinoy women the way they sould be controlled and that is the way it rolls here. it is because pinoy men themselves are more unfaithful than their women! that is why, and they care the less about it. glade to be Saudi!

    2. lol….. say what you want to say, but the recent kpop phenomenon is actually attracting so many white teenage girls to asia….. your white trash husband is only as good as his penis….. filipino men are true lovers and a keeper….. good luck to you, divorce rate is high in white country… divorce is a culture there…. lol

  98. Filipinas are Users and extort money from u………..

    I don’t know about the Filipinas living in Philippines but I can say certain things very surely about Filipinas living in Dubai.
    I had a relationship with a Filipina and I got to know about her secrets just 2 months after the relationship started. I really could not believe that how come a person can have secrets like that . Then I started researching about Filipinas behavior and their consideration for a relationships. I went to each and every Filipino colleague of mine just to know how come a girl can be so secretive. I kept researching for six months just out of curiosity how come people be so fake. During that time i broke up with my GF but kept friendship alive. Then slowly slowly she told me the below mentioned things about Filipinas and i got confirmation from almost all colleagues of mine + other Filipino friends of mine and reached to these conclusions and trust me 90% of them are like that and it is very normal for them (may be this is what their culture is or this is how they take the relationship).

    1. They make relationship with other nationals just to suck their money or to get passport of some western country, if the guy is White.
    2. Almost all Filipinas just play with guys for money ( they can date a guy just for 1 time meal at KFC) and have more than 1 boyfriend for sure. If ur GF who is a Filipina is faithful and loyal to u, u need to wake up from ur illusion. She is not faithful, she is just clever and knows how play.
    3. Here in Dubai 90% are single moms and most of them lie and don’t disclose their marital status and their kids.
    4. Not all but more than 50% are into hidden prostitution. They have links and sleep with White guys or locals just for 500 bucks (sometimes even 300).
    5.A Filipina can leave her husband and kids just for a teddy bear, nice chocolate (not even expensive ones) and 1 rose. U need to pamper her with these 3 things for three days in a row and 4th day she’ll be in ur bed.

    Their image in Dubai is really bad. people think that they are easily available puss** and treat them like tissue paper (use n throw) almost without any efforts just because they behave cheap and low standard.
    .
    .

    1. i feel sorry for your experience. It’s a shame, really. While I think that your story is not so difficult to believe because it really happens and for many reasons (poverty, loneliness, greed), I hope you also try to consider the stories of Filipinas who commented on this post who are educated, independent, and not gold diggers. Because there is also truth in these stories. Just to give you idea that it’s not all bad. I also havr friends in Dubai who are really good girls. Thanks for sharing your story, though. It’s an eye opener to the harsh reality of forced migration and poverty in the philippines and what it does to people.

    2. I did heard about that, and i also have seen in about those domestic helpers and ofw’s who does that. even some Filipino men will be angry because they work in other countries and men will tell them that filipina is easy and they can get them for cheap price and filipino men will never taste their women. Well it’s true many filipina are really into money thing. I have met a lot of them, they really don’t care about respect for themselves. They also have the saying |”if you gonna poop, you need to do it in another country so nobody will smell you shit in Philippines” But i have to also remind you there are a small percentage of filipina that are still okay, so we cannot really say 100% Mostly are selling thier souls to the devil, but there are still a few good ones that will not do prostitution or will not be slutting around. It is just so happen that many are doing it so t becomes their label. Like many population applying for domestic job so it became a label. I also know they sleep with men during day off to get money, they also sleep with men because they want to enjoy sex and it’s too far away and their husband is not there. i have heard many stories and I have met a lot of women who does that. Even my classmates does it, and even my co-workers does it. But still a few are still decent and will be ashamed to do such things like hooking around. Just try to avoid liberated women, and those who are super poor, or wealthy but slutty. It’s hard to find a good woman, but lets be honest it is also hard to find a good man. Most men are perverts, assholes, maniacs, psychopaths, losers, big mouth, disrespectful, lazy, arrogant, and so many negative description. So it’s same, men and women this days are mostly trash. The world is going to hell soon. And many souls will born. Just try to be good and maybe you won’t belong to those burning in hell.

    3. Hey, compare that to many western women who sleep around for free, and they’re not even poor 🙂 or if you get divorced, kiss your assets goodbye.

      On a serious note, that’s really terrible. Poverty sometimes make you do bad things. I also heard many got raped and abused by their employers. A friend once told me, “never work there if you’re a girl”

  99. I’ve just fallen in Love for a Filipino girl after just 3 days we have been chatting together on an online dating website after having wasted years of my time chasing British or even foreigners girl living in the UK (included many from the Philippines) without the smallest success (not even a single face to face date and so few written replies (mostly saying just “I’m not interested, thanks”) that I could count them in just one digit number. The problem seemed to be that I wanted a reasonably younger than me woman because I’d like to have some children with her (I find this just the most natural thing if you truly love the person you are with) and I’m already 47 y/o. On top of that I’ve got already 3 kids from a previous marriage whom I visit every week since they live with their mum. As a 34 y/o she has the right age and she loves me too and we will get married as soon as we could sort out her UK Visa, for I can’t go to live in her country because my children are not even teenagers yes and I want to stay close to them.

    My question is: why Filipino girls don’t mind about age gap and previous children while for everyone living in the UK that’s so important that they won’t even give anyone like me a chance? Are they honestly in love for us, older Westerners or they’re just opportunists? And most importantly, why they can’t find a better matching boyfriend in their own country: surely there are plenty of them around so how is it possible that they don’t fall in love for any of them? I’ve been tempted to just dismiss the whole thing by saying that the girls in here are too demanding or spoiled or materialistic but that will just be an easy way to avoid digging deeper into the facts. After long (and hopefully right) reasoning I’ve come to the conclusion that Love is not such a pure and not rational instinct. Instead it is really much influenced by reasoning although of an unconscious nature, something that we are not even aware of. We just perceive it as Love or not Love but it’s not. So I think that this Filipino girls who fall in love for westerners foreigners are really and genuinely in love for them because they feel that they have so much more than their Filipino counterparts not in terms of good personality or selfishness but rather of financial security. There must be an instinct on women that allow them to unconsciously shut down the feelings of love if the suitor is not enough financially stable and it must be a very old instinct that must have shaped not only human evolution but perhaps started even earlier, in other mammal species and birds. It would be very interesting to do some social experimentation to test my theory (and it may well been that someone has already theorised the same and run some tests to prove it, I don’t know). And it comes as a natural consequence that if Western women would find themselves into the same financial hardship as their Filipino counterparts are nowadays they would also fall, if my theory is correct, under the control of this instinct, thus falling in love for much older guys from others wealthier corners of the world. Anyways I’m glad that this instinct exists and that it gives people who otherwise would never feel anything for each other, experience true love and an happy life, which I find as a bit of a miracle! Wish me luck with my Filipino woman whom I love so much!

    1. The reason why you don’t have a chance in your own country is because, the women there are not poor. Most of your women are independent and liberated and just wouldn’t settle for anything less. Here in philippines women are mostly poor and have a bad life. The first thing they need is money, and they also need to find a job so it will be better to marry someone that can get them out of here. Age is a big problem,, but if you are desperate and poor you wouldn’t be thinking about it will you? Poor women are just too desperate to get out of poverty no matter what. But in a relationship, there is always a chance that the man and woman may fall in love. That is why the embassy made the citizenship longer to attain so that perhaps in those years maybe the husband and wife have already atleast fallen in love with each other and even if they marry for convenience it may also end up in a good relationship, instead of just simply giving them the green card quickly. Marriage is a risk, especially if you know you are not good looking. There is always a risk that a man and a woman is just being used for the money. But I can also say that even those who are in love and have the right reason for getting married will still end up arguing and killing each other. It all just defends on both of you, are yo gonna respect each other or are you just gonna keep using and disrespecting each other. Marriage for convinience is famous here in philippines but some do end up nicely and have a happy family. You just need to avoid the women that have too much baggages like poor lazy families and women that treats you like ATM machine. Avoid women that automatically goes naked on cam and flirts on you like a hoe. And avoid women that asks for so many things or women that is very friendly to men. Just try to find a decent woman that respects herself and have a high pride. The reason why foreign men always gets the trash here is because that’s what you been talking to online. Many trash hangs out online and looking for a pray. Same with men, most men online are losers and really irritatingly perverted. why not try to make friends first and find out everything about her, or perhaps find out about her family. Just don’t buy anything that is on sale, don’t get a wife like your getting a pet from a store. Don’t shop for a wife. it’s hard to find a good woman but it is worth your effort if you get one. Remember you are marrying her not her whole family. And you don’t need to feed all of her blood lines. Plus find someone that will be loyal and stick with you for better or for worse. And be a good man and you can demand for a good woman.

    2. I think you are right. I have seen the phenomena also with european women. Recently I read a poll about how many european women who would date a man without a job. Very few would. And I have heard several women here in europe who stated that they could never love a man without money. One said it like this: “What would I do with a man without money?”

  100. True!!!! I met my husband in an online game in 2008 and we became friends on Facebook in 2011. We got married this March. When my mother told my relatives that I was dating someone from the US(he’s Spanish), they thought it was some old American man. To their surprise, the man who came with me is not an old geezer..but a tall and handsome 26-year old guy! By the way, I’m 24. I went to Manila to pick him up using my own money. As for the wedding, my parents paid for everything. My parents didn’t allow him to spend a single penny for the reception, ceremony and all. I also bought his ticket to Manila and my parents paid for his terminal fees.

    As for social stigma, even our fellow Pinoys stigmatize us, women who married foreign men. I went through that before he came here. I was labeled gold-digger, “ambisyosa”, I sold my body and youth for the sake of my American dream(BTW, I don’t even like America… As an otaku, I am much more interested in Japan and I love Asian countries. I don’t even think of living anywhere else), and I was a “caregiver”. When I told my husband about these stuffs, he and I almost died laughing.

    It sucks that those who marry for love are also labeled as gold-diggers, but that’s how collectively judgmental society gets. Society tends to overgeneralize and unfairly classify and segregate people. Well, the best thing we “lovestruck idiots ” (that’s how my hubby and I call each other sometimes) should do is shrug off our shoulders and laugh at it because we know in our heart, soul and conscience that we are not what they think we are.
    P.S. This alien here is an anime lover and loves playing on-line games. Her hubby is also an anime lover and a crazy console gamer.

  101. love this part.—-aside from the other reasons and lies I was telling myself and people around me about why I wanted to leave my corporate life, I actually left because I just wanted to have more time to understand myself, to love me and just to be with myself!– I have read a lot of trav blogs..daming reasons and those nice and appropriate things to write..eto sobrang totoo lang.love it!!good job!

  102. Commend Filipinas who choose better men in general. A lot of Filipinas are not happily married and even feed their husbands who are mostly very dark Filipinos who are far from their foreign counterparts. I think Filipinas choose foreigners because of their personality. You can’t live for someone who only thinks of himself regardless of nationality. Unfortunately, Filipino men aren’t great partners. They are not good-looking for their philandering urges.

  103. I could relate to all the points stated here. I am currently married to my American man, and some officemates back in the Philippines say, I am just marrying for convenience.. If not because of marrying, I would say I have a decent job in IT, and I am working in a nice company as well.. it means as an independent woman, I don’t need someone to support my needs. Though, I still can’t avoid people thinking that way and it makes me feel sorry for them that they just generalize people.

  104. Agreed. Actually, it just happens that people fall in love. It wasn’t really an intention to fall in love with a foreigner but that it just so happened that he is. Therr may be truth in some cases that being with a foreigner is a lucky breakthrough for a Filipina but it certainly isn’t always the case. Love is the reason as it should always be. I am also in a relationship with a foreigner and the reason why we are together is that we share the same values, likes, etc.

  105. I met a European guy in a backbackers’ inn during a solo travel to a visa-required country. We fell madly in love and got hitched a year later (we were both in our late 20s – he’s even a few years younger than me!). I don’t want to sound mayabang but I came from a good family, had a good education and stable job. We got married & moved to his country. Honestly, It was difficult for me because I had to leave my job and try to get a headstart in this new country. So not all are dying to get hitched as a ticket to go abroad. But what I appreciate most is the chance to experience another culture and live in a society where there is less social pressure like dapat graduate ng this or that univ or nagwowork ka sa Makati and able to afford Zara and all that shit. Where I am now, everyone is more or less equal. Everyone has dignity of labor. Blue collar & white collar workers can eat in the same restaurant. It’s really a learning experience, aside from the fact that we are in love and raising our beautiful little multicultural family. People are in this kind of relationship for a thousand and one reasons. It’s a pity that we even have to “correct” the “misconceptions”. But at the end of the day, we don’t really own anyone an explanation.

  106. couldn’t agree more! lol’d at ‘white people don’t actually shit money!’ i’ve been asked way too many times why i don’t go shopping or overspending or eating at whatever new upscale restaurant has opened since i have a ‘puti’ to pay for it. seriously, i work my butt off day and night to have my own money, i’m not dating him to afford stuff. i don’t overspend because i either don’t have money or im being more practical about spending it. thank you, thank you, thank you for speaking on our behalf!

  107. hahah, mga pinoy lang din naman and mag-iisip ng ganun eh,,,I am also a lucky wife of a foreigner,,,all I can say, INSECURE lang sila…asawa ko walang pera mortgage on the bank and credit card loans,work so hard double shifts paid off the bank before we got married,,,we living together for 2 yrs before we got married…and now living together for almost 6 yrs.we currently here in China planning to tour the world like the two monkey. I’m a big fan and follower.

    1. Thank you so much Amy!! How’s China so far? Let me know if you will plan your around the world adventure! =)

  108. I’m a filipina dating a Canadian who loves the fact that I’m an independent woman. Kudos! You’ve said exactly what I have been saying to foreigners I meet who look at filipinas in a very different way. Thanks for saying it the way it is!

  109. Yep, I can relate to this. Went to Africa as a volunteer and met my British husband there (also a volunteer). When we first started, it was actually my fellow-Filipino volunteers who let’s just-say raised their eyebrows when they found out about our relationship. Oh well. But who cares? Currently living in the UK, but plan to settle in the Philippines soon! Like your BF, my husband can’t wait till we move back home. Btw, my daughter isn’t blue-eyed. She’s brown-eyed like the rest of us. She’s a lot fairer than I am, but she looks a lot like me 😉 Prior to marrying my husband, I had my own career back home. I’m a full-time mother now, but also a part-time writer. Have a degree in English Literature, as if it matters or anyone cares! 😉

  110. True love knows no color. It doesn’t mind time zones, nor religion, nor money in the bank! I’m a high school English teacher who’s been on solo trips in Asia and Europe. My German boyfriend, who’s starting to become a traveler too (my influence!), visited me last year — his first big travel outside Europe. I will visit him and his family next month. We both believe that we are God’s gift to one another, and we learn every day to love each other regardless of the differences between us. In a way, we are also in this journey of breaking the stereotypical “poor Asian girl-rich white guy” image. However, I don’t really care about narrow, judgmental Filipino minds; I do not belong in their circle. Cheers to love!

  111. Agree… Agree..Agree. I have American husband as well. Same as other stories.. Got separated from pinoy husband..need to work here in America to support 3 kids. Met this American guy online.. Fall in love..Get married after 3 yrs. Living happily with my 3 kids. Hearing this story people usually guess..Oh he married rich American guy to get a green card and to support her kids.. Haistt… People never stop judging.My true story…I met my my American husband now online…yes.so tired of filipino cheaters. He knows everything about me.First we said no serious relationship. But we fall in love.He lost his job I stay with him.I work hard for my kids.He wants to marry me But i said I will wait for my green card then Ill marry you. I got my kids..got my green card and now we’re married. He have a great job and so do I. We are working hard for our kids. Life is not Perfect.. We have ups and downs but we stay iin love and happy.. Why? Because we respect and trust each other .He treat me like a queen and i treat him like a king. and i dont care how people think. I did not take advantage of anybody i just fall in love.

  112. i super love this article! I am a call center agent for 5 years before meeting my husband and i dated filipino guys in the past and i can say that most of them are too immature for me (cheating ,sleeping with other girls, getting someone preggo during the relationship etc). i met my husband online and i am working in an office that time! i work for my own money and until now i still make it a point that i have my own income (even if my hubby doesnt really want me to work anymore). MOST of the people think i want him for his money or going abroad get a visa etc? LIKE SERIOUSLY!!?? I HAVE A DECENT PAYING JOB thats above minimum wage! I AM NOT RAISED BY MY PARENTS TO AIM TO LIVE ABROAD! i can support them on my own and be successful without the help of my husband.

    i can totally relate since im married to an american for almost a year we dated 2 years prior marriage a nd getting married again with the same guy because we love each other so much we are getting married twice! 🙁 i feel so sick of the stares that we get every time we are in manila and my husband even reached to the point that he flipped out in a hotel lobby because they wont give us the price that we saw online (we are cheap travelers LOL) he even dropped the word ” my wife is not prostitute” like seriously on the front desk ( GOOD LORD I DONT LOOK LIKE A PROSTITUTE my goodness! im so fat and squishy! im pretty sure that i wont be mistaken for one!

    And im not desperate! my husband is 31 and im 24 and think im in the right age to know what im doing and most people expect that my hubby is an older guy like? WTF?. its nice that me and my husband are so inlove with each other and supportive with each other as well. he is everything that i have prayed for my whole life. smart, sweet, squishy(yes i want my husband to be fat hahah). fun, caring and WE SHARE THE SAME INTERESTS and we are super compatible even in the smallest detail. We share expenses too (mostly him because he insist that he provides for me being the hubby )

    im so happy that this article was written and i sent this to my hubby. not everyone dating a foreigner is about the money, visa, genes, etc. for me its LOVE. and i found it in him. and i am so blessed that i have in my life! we are gonna settle down in cebu and have our own businesses in the future. Im so happy that you guys found each other 😀 blessings to all of us!

    photo below is the fattest version of me 🙂 lost some weight now though 🙂 and that my foodie hubby 🙂

  113. very well said! Wow saya lang ng experience nyo! Kakainspire tuloy na magbackpacker Around the world! Got this blod tru rappler! Keep do8ng what you guys are doing! you’re inspiring a lot of people!!!

    Mapapadalas ako d2 for sure!

  114. Hah! I was already successful on my own before he and I met. I even own a house and used to live by myself hence it always irritates me when friends and acquaintances say I was lucky my bf is a foreigner hinting towards becoming financially well off.
    So many small minds, I could roll my eyes until I see my brain. I would always respond with, “My bf is not a financial institution.” That put them in their places. LOL

  115. Sorry. I stay one year in Philippines now. I am very disappointed from Philippines, philippine people. I am walking ATM for filipino people only!!! If i meet 10 filipino people, 6-7 think that i am rich foreigner(possible profit). If i meet 10 filipina girls, 9 girls see to me – i am wallet. If i use trike, taxi, 10 from 10 double price. If i go buy something, for foreigners higher price, why???????? If filipino people come to my country, they have same price. I have a bad experience everywhere in Philippinos. For example, i needed visa extension, employee from agency told me price higher 1500 pesos as right price ! Why many,many filipino people think, that all foreigner,we are rich? Its not true! too, if someone is foreigner ,that is reason to lie about prices? Yes, in the Philippine live many good people, but ,pity, too many many wrong people! why I do not have the same experience with other with other nationalities? Why if girl from Asia ask me for money, 90 %= girl from Philippines??I not enjoy that I’m writing this post, but this is my experience of the Philippines.And filipino people must think,why i have so experience.. p.s. sorry for my bad English

    1. lols, those are the people from the streets am i right? the typical people here. And mostly poor acts that way. the decent ones will not do that., And yes the cab drivers some are assholes. It’s very famous that foreign men have money, because the conversion of your dollars is bigger than pesos ha ha. And the job abroad pays more than Philippines salary. But to rich people in philippines you will look like a poor guy, rich here will not actually even look at you. you are talking about the ones that are stupid and poor. And by the way agency do charge more so you should learn to process your own papers. I have work in travel agency before for a friend. It does charge more but it doesn’t mean they earn a lot. Agencies pay rent and pay salaries and they end up with almost nothing. Plus the low season they are really struggling to pay rent. You can just process your own just read it online and don’t be lazy if you want it cheap do it on your own. Philippines have good and bad people, it’s just so many bad people all over so of course it will happen. Like me I am chinese and everyone thinks I need to pay more, and that I am loaded and i need to give them tips all the time. I even get bad service from cab drivers asking for too much money. I am not rich, I live a better life but not rich. Besides my families money isn’t mine and I don’t have anything to do with it. I even went off my dads place and have been on my own for some years. I was never a spoiled child and I do have arguments with my dad so I am on my own. We are chinese spanish family so we do look better than most, they always think i am filthy rich, but it’s not true. I moved out from my dad and i am now in a middle class standard. And I don’t even want any inheritance from my family. The bad thing is people always want money from me, they make friends with me and make me pay their bills, so I always avoid poor people or middle class. Rich people don’t really bother me. Plus I need to always stay out of public places as I always get robbed or i did experience being held on the throat with a knife. Sometimes men will also follow me on the street. Even my neighbors always expect me to give them what they want, this is a subdivision and not even a squatter area, but still neighbors always think I need to give them what they want.,If they don’t get what they want they would always criticize Chinese and say we are greedy and selfish. i know how it feels to be surrounded by bad people. even at work those women who will be nice to me are the ones who will want me for money. And men also wants money and because I look good too. I hate it when they always ask for something or if they always want me to do something for them, because I am smart they also make me do things for them. I also have to be careful in dealing with people because i am also qualified for kidnapping here. Some of our family friends have experience that, and sadly the government is connected with the kidnappings. I am not rich, but my family and relatives are rich so i still need to be careful coz they will really ask for ransom incase. My grandma will always tell me be careful it’s just not safe for people like us to be careless. But like I said I can always relate to what foreigners experience here. Even the people outside thinks I can give them help, they keep asking me for help. They will always try to tell me about their small salary. And sometimes if you help one person you will regret it when suddenly all the neighbors will find out and they will start talking to you and ask too. like when it’s new year they all keep asking for gifts and money. And even garbage collectors will ask many times and they won’t take my garbage if I don’t give them money. So I reported them to cityhall. Even in cityhall I was just asking for a marriage process and they automatically ask me or offer me a package deal that is worth 20x the real amount. Fuck I will just get married in church if you ask me that amount that is same with church wedding. And surprising to see everyone in cityhall has an application form, they can all process for you even the receptionist and security guard are dealing and they also send you to their connection to have a cut money for themselves. I just always been look up to as filthy rich tisay here. ANd they think they can always get money form me so I really get fist off and yell at them or complain. Why do I need to be nice to people anyway? i don’t owe them anything. So I just try to avoid as much as possible to be surrounded by this stupid people. It’s just very rare to find good ones that’s for sure. But I did met some good filipina but just very rare. And you also have to avoid charities lols, once you give they will never stop asking. never give them phone or address, it will keep coming. Sometimes they wil even find out about your families business. Even when i was studying the manager of the place that we were having OJT she actually tried to get all the students numbers and address because she thinks it will be easier to get mine if she ask for everyone’s record instead of just mine. So she ask one of my classmate so she can have all the list. She was just wanting mine coz she is after the connections and money. I was really fist off i don’t even wanna talk to her she keeps asking so much information and she is thick face. but I don’;t just stay away from filipinos and filipinas, i have to be honest i also don’t trust most americans or any other race. Well one time I was shocked that an american guy I was talking too already know everything bout me and he even knows the place and the properties we have. Americans can be gold diggers too mind you. And sometimes online I also get so many attempts from hackers they even try to open emails or anything like even or all sorts of places I have been into. So I never really use my real name or anything info it’s all fake. going to some sites you need to be careful with customer service and they can also be thieves and they read your information and find out things about you. Even was asking credit card or ids from me, and they just say it’s verification but there is no such thing, the customer service can actually blocked you and it will say you need verification. even you tube I notice some commenters are customer service because they do know how many accounts I have and they know I am using aliases. How the hell will you know if you don’t work from those companies, obviously they see it coz they are customer service. You just can’t trust anyone this days. But anyways I am just letting you know your life and experience isn’t that bad at all. Try to be me and you will complain more. People in this world are just too desperate for money and always thick face, we just need to be always careful and avoid almost everyone that is not important. And don’t let them abuse you, just ignore them. Oh by the way my bf is american and he is a good man. very rare but true I found a good man in this crazy world. he doesn’t really care about anything but me, he don;t like money and he is not pervert or anything. he loves me for real and he said he can kill for me that’s how much he loves me. And he said he can search the whole world but will never find another one like me. He just always feel insecure that’s all but I always make him feel good about himself. His coworkers always tell him I am way out of his league that is why he feels bad. But we love each other and he is a gentleman and he respects me and loves me. He feels very lucky to have found me and I am happy I met him because he has a good heart. It’s hard to find good people but do keep searching and maybe you will find one. There are still good women here in philippines just make friends first and try to give more time to your possible lifetime commitment. Some filipina can also be nice just find out and be wise and don’t be an atm machine or a ticket for usa. I have a filipina friend that is very nice and would even give what she has left even if she is poor, but sad to say she already died, she is half spanish by the way. But most of my co-workers are just simply goldiggers and lying bitches so better be careful who you deal with. Just find out everything about your potential partner and try your best to know her heart. don’t settle for someone less, it’s better to be single than to share your bed with a devil.

  116. I just had to comment on this piece. I met my husband while travelling in Cambodia and we were based there for a while. We finally decided to come to the Philippines and start a business, and I can’t help but be irked every once in a while at how people would stare and be rude enough to even ask my mother where my husband and I met, and mind you, these are just random people at the mall. If it was just me then I wouldn’t be bothered too much, but knowing how these people would even dare think that my family is benefitting from our marriage is totally unforgivable. Starting a business in the Philippines is not easy, and we’re both lucky that my parents have welcomed us with open arms. We live with them for the time being, i.e. my parents are supporting us with our needs right now (shelter, food, transportation, investing in the business, etc.)

    It’s not just Filipinos, though. An acquaintance of mine who’s ethnicity is Vietnamese and got adopted by an American couple when she was still an infant found it very hard growing up in the States, especially when she came of age. People would automatically think she was her father’s young Asian girlfriend, and so she felt the need to say “Daddy” out loud whenever people would stare. When we were in Cambodia, a lot of foreign men who married Khmers would be falsely accused of pedophilia when they were out alone with their own children, and the accusations where made by Western run NGOs. It’s sad how people are quick to judge without even thinking how it would affect the people they’re pointing fingers at.

    1. Hello Toni! I’ve seen those things in Cambodia too- it is sad but yeah it happens! Aww, we plan to move to Philippines and start our business too, would love to learn from your experience! Hope we can keep in touch!

    2. lols be careful with the word daddy. Sometimes people think you mean sugar daddy. So it all just defends on how you actually act and treat each other, this is Philippines. If you act too sweet it looks weird to some. Father daughter relationship is not suppose to be sweet in this country. It’s not like USA, here in philippines a father daughter relationship should be polite and respectful and FORMAL.! especially to an adopted child it is not good to see a flirtatious relationship between a man and woman even with their own daughters it’s gonna be weird for most people.

  117. Hi!
    Came across your post, and i just finished reading the whole article.
    Thanks for the wonderful, and mind opening article about Us.
    I couldn’t agree more with you. Aside from the Backpacking part (which i’d love to do one day), your article holds true about stereotyping filipinas. Not because there are a few bad apples, does not mean the whole bunch is bad. I’ve had relationships with filipino men before, but had bad experiences with them. Since, i’m working abroad, i’ve met quite a few foriegners, and when they find out that i mainly hail from the Philippines, they start to back off. It seems that the had met and heard about filipinas meeting/marrying and what not, foreign men for money/visa etc. the thing is, they don’t know me yet, and they already had that conclusion. I mean, i’m a professional, a medical doctor, came from a good family, with most of my relatives having the same educational qualification as i am. Aside from that, my relatives are even scattered in western countries practicing their profession.
    My point is, foreigners should’nt be stereotyping all filipinas, try at least to get to know them, then decide. Just saying.

    1. Hi Paula, thank you so much for sharing your story! That’s the thing, we have to go up and break the stereotype!! And those guys you’ve met are not the ones for you.. I experienced that a lot while in the Middle East then finally meeting Jon unexpectedly!

  118. Di din natin masisi kung may nag-iisip ng ganyan kasi it’s really happening…i’m married to a wonderful black guy for a few months now but we’ve been together for more than 5 years before we decided to settle down….i met him when i’m working here in Bermuda and we decided to get married because we love it’s other and that’s it…no other reasons…it’s L.O.V.E.!!!…i had 3 children in my previous marriage and he got his own 3 too….they are all grown-ups now and some have families of their own and their own jobs….so it’s only the 2 of us!!! He’s not perfect but he’s a good man….we’re so happy to have it’s other…he visited Philippines twice and he loves it and planning to go again this year….by the way we have a daughter in the body of a cat named Bambi….lol!….and i love her dearly.

    1. Hahaha! True love indeed!! We used to have a cat too, named Yoni but sadly we have to left him in Vietnam! I was crying for a while! haha! =/

  119. There are “perhaps” some Filipinas that will date Foreigners for money or for the opportunity to go abroad to better position themselves to make money themselves? Perhaps? No perhaps about it, and there are thousands if not millions of them! Good for you though that this isn’t the case. You are the exception, not the rule.

    1. Oh great, thanks for that Mark! I’ve said above that I’m not generalizing and it’s only based on my personal experience,. Thanks!

  120. Having been married to my pinay for 32 years I can honestly say it was not an accident. Two wonderful children later Boy 31 now married living in the UK and Girl 28 enjoying life in Sidney Australia. Mum and I are now spending their inheritance and enjoying life. BTW I’m British, well Scottish actually. Loved your post humorous to a fault great piece of writing.

  121. I’m from the USA and lived in the Philippines for several years. I first visited there 7 years ago. Everything you said is true. It is a shame that you had to write this because people are just so clueless. People with such stupid ideas have never traveled and never loved!!!

  122. Hi! Thanks for this. Super relate although hindi puti asawa ko. Greetings from Bermuda from a fellow iska from yupielbi.

    1. Wow Olga!!! Yay!! We plan to go to Bermuda this year actually, still figuring our our budget! haha! Awesome from Iska!!! <3

      1. Really? Wow! Do let me know so we can meet. Looking forward to seeing you both. You will definitely enjoy our beautiful island… 🙂 thank you by the way for replying to my comment. Ano pala batch mo if you won’t mind? Baka nagkita na tayo.

  123. I am a white guy and married to a Filipna. Happiest 5 years of my life so far. Best choice I have made.

    However, even though I am white our story is more complicated than most. I am also an African from South Africa. Yes… we have white people here as well.

    I met my wife online in a biology chat room almost a decade ago. We became friends and struck up a friendship. My wife and her Filipino family are not poor. My wife’s father is a respected surgeon and her mother is a doctor. My wife is also a doctor. My wife comes from a good home that did not suffer financially.

    I myself come from a good home, but we have no doctors in our family. So any ways, we had being chatting for many years as friends and slowly those conversations got more and more intimate. Im not talking about “intimate” as in like sexual. I’m talking about intimate as in loving and caring and sharing everything with each other. She knew everything about me. From my most noble actions to my most shameful moments. We laughed and cried together and our friendship outlasted any we had offline.

    So one day my boss at work really upset me. I decided my life needed a change. So I took my pay check and bought a ticket to the Philippines. We wanted to see if this very close friendship and budding romance would translate well into a real life experience so we took the chance.

    I lived in Manila for many months. I have a hundred stories that I could tell you from there. I love the country, the people and the culture.

    At first my wife did not tell her father about me, so I lived for many months in Manila without meeting her parents. Then one day we got introduced. It was not easy going. Her father drilled me (hectic questioning) about my intentions with his daughter. The whole (extended) family were called in and we were both interrogated. One moment I will never forget is my wife was called in for questioning first. She was in the room with the family for about 30 minutes, when she came out she was crying so much. Not really a good indicator…

    I could understand her fathers view. My father-in-law had been paying for my wife to practice Medicine in the USA and along comes this African out of nowhere and totally messed up his plan he had envisioned for her. There was a lot of tears and a lot of anger.

    Eventually I was given an ultimatum. Leave the Philippines and if my wife still wants me to after 6 months, then her father would let her come to me.

    Ill never forget that day. It was Christmas day. I left the love of my life in much tears and headed back to South Africa. By the way, Filipinos go firework crazy on Christmas day, but that’s another story.

    6 months later our love and determination were stronger than ever. She flew over to my country. Since then my wife has integrated well into our culture. We got married. She is much loved by my family (I suspect they like her more than they like me!) and she is a practising doctor in our healthcare service.

    Im not with my filipina wife because I want a slave. Im with her because her joy and happiness are some of the most important drivers in my life and she is my world.

    I sit here the luckiest man alive. I love my wife with every inch of my being. I have never come across such loving, intelligent, hard working and compassionate woman in my life before and I doubt I will ever again. We literally crossed the world for each other.

    I hope I dont mess this up. Mahal kita aking asawa

    1. Your love story is the best one I’ve read in a long time! What a beautiful story! Someone can make a movie out of it. Similar to “The Note book” 🙂

  124. Sharing this with my friend who has pretty much stopped dating Filipinos (she’s Filipina and in a relationship with a Belgian) bec. Pinoy men can be such macho, immature jerks.
    BTW, “feedback” is both singular and plural–I suggest striking “feedbacks” from your vocabulary.
    Cheers.

  125. Nice blog BZFLAG. I thinks that’s the reality for some. I hear a lot of sad stories of filipinas here in the US and I feel sorry for them. Mine is one of the successful stories of a mixed marriage . I too was married to an american. When I worked in a Call Center in the Phils, (With United Airlines Baggage) I experienced the worst side of Americans 🙂 and I told myself I’m not going to marry one. But my destiny is, I ended with an American :). We accidentally met on line. May 20, 2009, but after we talk over skype. I told him “Oh you’re different from the americans that I talked to”. Honestly he is really different. Upfront I told him, I am a single mom with 3 teenagers and it will be a big responsibility for him. I told him to look for someone else but he insist. He feels we have connection and I am the one he wanted. So he visited me June 30, 2009 (just barely a month that we met online). We agreed that he can visit me but no commitment at all. He said I am his mission in life. We have same interests . He is a very considerate man and respect me with my decisions. He looked up at me with high regards. He was amazed how I was able to finished my Masters Degree and raised 3 smart children by myself. Funny thing is before me, he had a Thai gf and he is not aware that she is a scam. They were in a relationship for 2 years. He went to Thailand for the second time to get married. The girl asked for $5,000 as dowry. But he only gave $1,000 because he was thinking that it was her second marriage so he’s not really obliged to give that much. But unfortunately, the girl took his money and left him in the hotel and never came back. That’s one thing he realized , I never ask money from him. I volunteered to pay for his hotel when he first came to visit me. Things went right so we talked about my annulment before I will commit to him. The process took 2 years , he made 9 visits until it was approved May, 2011. The good thing he wants me to bring all my children. He said there will be a lot of opportunities for them here rather than in the Phils. So we left Phils Oct 28, 2011. When I arrived in the US I joined the flea market and sell stuff that I made, like fashion jewelries, redecorate hats and anything that I can sell. I dont want to depend on him and I want to be financially independent. When I got my Employment authorization card, I landed a job in a bank, I told him I will open my own account, at first he said that I can put my paycheck in our joint account but I explained that I have to established my credit history and told him our culture that filipina wife is the one who handle the finances and he understands. He is a man that believes in equality. He is very supportive with my children too. Now I have a daughter and a son in the US Navy. Just looking back I never regret marrying him he brings out the best in me. I learned to love and respect myself.

    1. This story is one of the best I’ve read in the last few days! Kala ko sa movie lang!! Thank you so much po for sharing!! You’re an awesome woman indeed!!!

  126. I’m so happy someone finally had the guts to write this piece. I couldnt! Haha BZFLAG you really gave us Filipinas with a Caucasian husband/partner/boyfriend a voice and I’m so proud of you for expressing yourself. And even more that I see how you have grown your blog. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that you emailed me telling me about your “new” blog? Look what you guys are doing now? Keep up the awesome work! So proud of women like you who are traveling the world in an awesome way!

  127. This is so true… I met a Swedish guy online and after 6 months of chatting he went here to the Philippines to meet me. I am a pastry chef and I run my own business for 2 years now. He is the 1st foreigner I dated and I was so nervous when he went here the 1st time, I don’t know how to handle a person with a different culture. But when we are together we are so comfortable with each other.

    Funny thing while walking to our neighborhood, one person told me and we are not even close “uy nandyan na ang donya” just because I’m dating a hot guy. Then when we are the mall, since it’s the holiday I am doing my shopping people are looking at us obviously judging me. I told my guy “I think people thinks you are buying stuff for me” well in fact I am buying stuff for him. Lol! Then everytime I see acquintances they always tell me “Kelan ka nya kukunin” then lately a lot of people are asking me for money.

    I am gonna visit Sweden on summer to visit him and to visit my friends, I have a lot of swedish and filipino friends in Sweden, but I’m gonna go there in my own expense. I love to travel and been into a few asian country already I work hard so I can go. Travelling to Europe needs a visa but I don’t need to marry him just to get it. And I don’t need a money just to go. For sure people will think that he will be the one who’s gonna pay for my visit and I am not gonna return here anymore. I’m gonna book a round trip ticket for just a month.

    Europian guy believes in equality and they admire girls who are independent. And I agree when you say I AM NOT LUCKY, WE ARE LUCKY COZ WE FOUND EACH OTHER.

    1. A lot of typo there…
      “Travelling to Europe needs a visa but I don’t need to marry him just to get it. And I don’t need his money just to go. For sure people will think that he will be the one who’s gonna pay for my visit and I am not gonna return here anymore. I’m gonna book a round trip ticket for just a month.”

      1. I agree with your last line!! You are awesome and yes cheers to independent women like us!!! People should know it’s just about love love love!=)

  128. This is such a good article. Totally agree on almost everything. I travelled to more than 10 countries, in fact I travelled way more than my foreign husband. So how come I would marry him for his passport when indeed I can definitely travel on my own. Money? Nah, we both earn. Some people just have nothing good to say, or just probably is jealous. Though it is true some people marry for money or citizenship or some stuffs: it’s their life, why the hell would we care about their life decisions? Clap clap to the writer!

      1. True, they shouldn’t. I’ve me Filipinas here who met their husbands through agency, some luck to meet good men and some not. But I never judged them, and some of them truly falls in love with their husbands. Come on, the way we met our partners are all so random too. Respect everyone’s relationship. But err, not everyone knows how to respect too.

  129. What can I say, as a British guy with a beautiful Filipina girlfriend I consider myself very lucky. She may live a simple life and not have the opportunities in life I had, but she makes me laugh and smile every day and is very resourceful. The most important thing is Filipinas are very commited to family life and put family first always. For me that’s important I wish more Western people had that philosophy. One day I hope to live in the Philippines – that’s our plan.

    1. Aww Alex! That’s our plan too!! We will go back and live in the Philippines and thank you for your kind words for us!

  130. I agree to all the points stated here. Stereotyping is always not applicable in every situation. People are diversed and we have our own personality. Having said that, I already have lots of experience with these foreign guys, they courted me but didnt push thru into relationship. Why would I? Because they are foreigners? They would call me FOREIGNER either anyway when I get to their countries. I understand that Philippines is a 3rd-World Country and poverty is all over and I AM NOT belong to rich ones, but I believe I dont need anybody to make me well-off. If you know your capacity, you can make your own life.

    To my dearest women,

    Build your own life. Don’t let others build it for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s you yourself who can decide for your happiness. I am not against marrying any rich man, as long as you love each other truthfully. 🙂

    1. Aww I love this line – If you know your capacity, you can make your own life.

      To my dearest women,

      Build your own life. Don’t let others build it for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s you yourself who can decide for your happiness. I am not against marrying any rich man, as long as you love each other truthfully. 🙂

      Can I share this, Janica? You’re awesome indeed!

  131. Couldnt agree more! I salute you for being so brave and blunt with your post, BZFLAG. Goodluck in your life, career and love!

  132. Very nice love story. Yeah, me too i work hard for myself and i want to have a wonderful white man to love. Hope the one i met last night is the one because he is very nice to me. Lookig forwrd to know him more.

  133. Thank you for this inspiring and motivating article. I am currently on the process of getting to know my foreign friend. He was just 24 and I am 20.When he went here to the Philippines after months of emailing, people stared at us – with judging eyes. It made me feel ashamed and down; which I regretted cause I kinda hid him from people and tell him to just stay at the hotel. I am an IT Professional and he was a sailor in England. I was even the one who paid for some of the expenses when he got here.

    Because of reading this article, I became more confident. I realized that it’s not what others think that is important but instead it’s what I feel. We are continuously having our good time through exchanging emails. I hope as time passes by we could be more than that. And I promise myself the next time he would visit me in the Philippines, damn those eyes! I don’t care!

    Thanks for this. I am wishing you and Jon a healthy relationship and safe travels.

  134. Oh, couldn’t agree more! Good to hear other filipinas having the same sentiment as I.

    Met my hubby in London when I was doing my post-degree diploma and him doing his business. When we were dating (for almost 8 years), we would always take turn in paying. We got engaged and decided to work in Singapore. Believe you me, we both have been working our ar*es out, and share the expenses. Now, we are married for almost 3 years with a naughty little 10-month old baby girl. I still work, and he runs our little business.

  135. I could have done a better comment BZFLAG!haha anyhow,Thank you for Representing Filipina Women, not only Filipinas but Women, you represent what a Modern Woman should be!Keep it up!

  136. Nice article! I couldn’t agree more..I met my husband in Amsterdam, The Netherlands and we were both working then. We fell inlove and soon we decided to live here in the Philippines. And we have no regrets for our decision, we both work now and we help each other pay the bills 🙂 He has now permanent visa for the Philippines. He loves the weather and the sun! His white color turns now into brown. 🙂 So people dont think he is a foreigner, but when he talks, hahaha, he still has the accent. We are blessed with one pretty daughter, good genes!
    Really nice to read your blog and its amazing to read the responses too. More power!

  137. I dated foreigners not because of those misconceptions but because im fascinated with their culture and religion..i have dated an arab,kenyan and somali..all black as they say once u go black u never go back!hahahhahaa

  138. Good article you have here. I totally get you. I’m dating a foreigner. I met my him in the Philippines. We met in a funny kind of way. Some say its luck, some say its destiny, I say its love 🙂 I am a preschool teacher and a ballet teacher for children. He worked as a volunteer in Philippine Red Cross and a student in Arnis for 6 months then went back to Denmark. After 4 months of LDR (thanks to skype and viber! :)) i went to visit him and his family but for a few days only because i have a regular job in Pinas. When i got back, we planned of ways on how to be together. After 10 months LDR again and uncertainties, hard work paid off. I got my residency and work permit as an intern approved. Now im here in Denmark to learn new things and more about my passion, teaching dance and children and to be with the man that i love. We both worked hard for where we are right now and we are happy and so inlove. Some people are just narrow minded and couldnt just be happy for other people. Oh its their problem anyway. I am lucky not because of his money but because i have a sweet, loving, patient, intellegent and amazing partner. Aaaaand youre right, the genes. C’mon! Who doesnt want a cute and adorable baby? :p

    1. It’s amazing! I would like to ask if it was so easy to get a visa going to denmark? cos im planning to get one this year to visit my partner, Im just scared if i wont get approved.

  139. I like this article,not all filipina who marry a foreigner are only upto for a visa or money, I am a backpacker also in Philippines and i pay my own travel as well and i save money for it. I worked in a publishing company when i was in Philippines but now i am married in a European man and live here in Spain in fact i am starting to get bored because i want to work here and i always tell my husband that i want to earn money on my own. Most filipino think that when someone married with a foreigner they think only one either you want money from that man or you just want to have a residency visa. and with regards to the “foreigner genes” i am agree too! haha who wouldn’t want to have a child with a stunning eyes, blond hair with filipino color? sabi nga nila magada ang pinoy pag nalahian ng ibang lahi..hahaha.. Well good job girl! great article indeed! hope to bump you here oneday in Andalucia,Spain! 🙂

      1. Exactly, I’m with you, Mark.

        I want to share this true story below from a friend of mine, whose stupid husband been hooked by a Filipino chic. Here is a copy from my friend’s Facebook wall.

        I got this posting on the wall of a friend of mine.

        Filipina single mom want western, American guy or American citizen.
        Write or call me (Abigail R Flores, mailing address: #101 Tanqui Lubong, City of San Fernando La Union Philippines 2500.
        Phone number: +639398249630).
        I am also 24/7 on my Facebook (nick Chary Hope or Abigail Flores).
        Get my photos or webcam on .

        My friend is a computer technician. I asked her about the story. She said her friend’s husband did have an online chat with this chicks. That idiot is married, has an amazing wife and good & fun marriage, but he still did stupid things like flirting and playing around with the chicks. That chic trying to say to the foolish guy sugar coated words just to get money and possibly American citizenship. The guy sent her money, and trying to hide his wife. Then his wife found out these craps. The guy is doing pastoral job and ministries together with his wife. I’m pretty sure this guy gonna lose his face and the good woman he has ever had. The most foolish thing is to trade the marriage for a garbage relation and give money to those hookers.

        I bet any of you get in a chat or with that chic, you’ll see better why Filipina girls & women try to hook white guys.

  140. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe! I don’t look at my husband as “white” or a “foreigner”, instead I see him as my husband – the love of my life.

    1. Oh you’re a good looking couple!!! Wow!!! =) Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!x Actually, when are we are abroad – we are both Foreigners! haha

    2. Am Kano, white and old. Have had several Asian ethnicity gf’s , and a wife, over the years. One phenomea I have observed many times is the reaction, in public places, by middle aged American women, to seeing an older white man with a beautiful Asian woman, probably a lot younger. Hate is an understatement.

  141. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe! I don’t look at my husband as “white” or a “foreigner”, instead I see him as my husband – the love of my life.

  142. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe!! oh well Pinoys

  143. I could not agree more, Ms. BZFLAG. I have worked hard also in earning an Engineering degree in UP and is now very stable in a consulting position for a Japanese firm. I love my man so much. I love everything about him. It really just happens that he is white and a native of Florida. I am uncomfortable when he would offer to help me financially on something because I do not want the relationship to be parasitic. I love him for he is and not because of his net worth. I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER. I know you are still sleeping right now 😉

  144. Good article!.im in a 2 years relationship now with my american guy. He just added me on 4 years ago, with a messaged that he wants to be friend with me. On our 2 years relationship as friend and 2 years as bf/gf, he always told me how much he really admire and love me most everyday coz he never heard me ask or complain on him about financial issues. Ive been working here in europe for 4years, and i travelled so much around europe as my treat for myself, while he is busy with his life in the USA too. But we just always find time for ourselves and talk about our personal plans and our plans to settle soon.

  145. Oh my God…that was a fine article BZFLAG. Very well said. I met my first boyfriend and then became my husband when i was studying in UK. I was 18 and now looking back i didn’t think for a fact i was marrying him for his money. He’s Greek-Cypriot BTW. We start dating and then i went to the US for my Masters and after six years i agreed to marry him…i’ve worked hard to pursue my pursue my goals in life and so has he. I’ve never even asked for a single dollar from him…and now after 16 years were still together

  146. Great article! I can so relate! I married my hubby because I like his last name .. joke! Haha! When my mother in law found out her son was dating a Filipina she really showed her disapproval because of the bad rep Pinays have but now that we have met .. I thinks she loves me more than her own son .. Lol! I have been a working girl for years and I do hate it when people find out I was dating a foreigner they would always say .. Wow lucky! I just smile and ignore .. Excuse me .. HE is LuckY! Haha! I cant forget those giving free trial for the straightening iron in Watsons and the lady said she was bored even if Im wasnt buying the product she would like to just do my hair .. I was waiting for hubby (then BF) while he was looking around so I just messaged him where I was and where to go after he is done to meet up. When hair lady saw him .. She said ” He is ur bf mam?” Pabili ka na! i just gave her a weird look! Truthfully, I didnt even know my hubby had a bit of money saved up until we got married coz I never really asked money from him. He pays for dates and gives me gifts on special occasions but thats it. Now I get money coz I am a housewife (no yaya in Australia) so I need to take care of our baby but when you think about it .. The amount of work being a housewife is more than my corporate job and technically .. I don’t really get paid… The money is for our groceries and household expenses!

    1. Hi Treena!! I agree with you, actually on my first 2 months with Jon in Vietnam he was the one working and I was doing all the household chores and he has to give me money to buy our food and other expenses but it doesnt go to my pocket! I love your story, do you write? I would love to do a follow up article on this and about living abroad.. you might want to write and i can publish you!! Here’s my email – [email protected]

      1. Yes I used to write a little bit .. Im in the Philippines now so its a bit busy but would drop u an email one of these days 🙂

  147. my boyfriends British, we’ve been dating for almost 2years. it is both funny and irritating that everyone at work tells me that “im very lucky” and that “i have used my head” for dating a white guy. even when we go out strolling i’ve encountered men staring (in a negative way)at me sharply (even filipinos) like it is a crime just by walking with him. and to top it off he happens to be 12years older than me while im petite and looked younger than my real age at first glance. oh man if only looks could kill! lol! even with some of my acquaintance (not friends) knowing that i’m a single mom dating a white guy…really you can feel the judgement. but we both know what we have together, we cherish our time together and since we’re both busy with work, people’s stares and judgement doesnt really affect us. and no i have never asked him for money or visa. he buys me flowers of course, it’s not right that i have to pay him back for that, lol! i have always been independent always worked for my keep, single mom and not a cent from the ex, i’ve always survived on my own,i don’t need a man -white, black, brown, yellow, or pink to feed me, clothe me, etc… life is already hard as it is, don’t let other people’s opinion affect you, let them think whatever they like at the end of the day it’s about what or who makes you happy that really matters.

  148. Agree!! I just got married to my Norwegian husband. We’re pretty young say 27 & 28 and ang daming magugulat pa na bakit di matanda asawa ko! Seryoso? Kanun na ba talaga ka talangka ang utak ng mga tao dito sa pinas? I met my hubby through fan based blog site. I blog occasionally to strip of the stress from work. I’m an accountant and he’s well studying yet when we became friends. Like you po, I live independently on my own. I have my own savings and investment while I was single..my siblings are professional…my parents are both too.. At akala ng iba mahirap lang mag aasawa ng foreigner tapos Pag puti akala nila ATM machine!!
    ! Kanyan kanya kami ng asawa ko….he’s studying, im working..if not for currency diff i earn more than him..we share and work hard together for everything. We got married because we love each other and wanna spend our lives growing old together and be Gaming buddies forever… Can’t people here get that?

    Maraming slamat sa blog mung ito.. 😀
    I’ll be reading your updates…. 😉

    1. I’m very happy for you. I’m currently dating a norwegian man too. You give me hope that norwegians are also interested in getting married. =) All the best Kea!

  149. Very well said. I like this article. I Hopefully I will meet a foreign husband in the future. It’s not about the money or anything but it is what I want and my choice. Thanks Kack of two monkeys for writing and sharing this one. God bless..

  150. Woooow!!! spot on!!!!! I am dating and in a serious relationship with a Kiwi man (New Zealander) for three years now and were very happy. We bought our house together ( share all the expenses/ mortgage !!! hahaha). I have a very successful career as a RN and when we started dating I was already in NZ and already processing my residency ( on my own hard work). Some people are “makikitid ang utak” and still stereotype a lot of filipina cause they are with a white man.Well, who cares, as long you love each other. Im looking forward to reading more of your posts, you are a great writer!

  151. I couldn’t agree more!! I’m now engaged to a foreigner(white man as everybody would say) and maybe it’s one of our culture to judge someone based on what they see..Lot of people say something bad but I learned to ignore them and continue with my life..My fiance and I loved each other so much and that’s the reason why we’re getting married soon after 4years of relationship..Mostly long distance cause he’s working in England while i’m working here in the Phils..We learned not to let others affect our lives..And yes, I am a professional Filipina, got a degree and still couldn’t imagine to be with someone aside from man I love..By the way, he’s French..:) So thank you so much for posting this..I hope all those people saying negative about us Filipinas who are dating a foreigner will see this..:)

  152. Hey BZFLAG! I love this post! I am plagued with the same prejudices like you, because I also have a white boyfriend!

    There actually was a time that I had ‘haters’ messaging me, telling me that all the expenses I had were being paid by my partner, despite them knowing perfectly well that before I met him, I have lived managed to live alone by myself, I have worked in 4 different multinational companies, and that I hold a good-paying job. (So why would I need someone else’s money!?)

    It’s like they really want to prove that their prejudice is right–when it’s not! So I think that most people just find it a hard concept to grasp that us Filipinas can really be independent because there are a number of Filipinas who are legit ‘gold diggers’ who have really tainted our nationality. Anyhow, yes please, it’s not like all of us are after the white people just for their money, citizenship, or whatnot. Besides, If you ask his family, they’re actually thankful that I came into his life because now, I have influenced him into going for a sustainable online business (it’s an idea from my previous online job, and now we’re business partners for it).

    All in all: my boyfriend, Jonas, and I both know however, that these biases will always be there so we just brush it off. We know our story and we both know what kind of people we are, so whatever negative things other people have to say—we don’t care. Most of the time we just joke about it and it’s more fun that way. 😛

  153. I have to agree with you all the way! oh well I just really need the good genes lol! and yea me too been working my ass out to compensate my travels. Great article, keep it up!

  154. My hubby and I have been married for 9 years now. We met online at an Asian forum. We were both interested in Japanese culture and didn’t have any thought about marriage at all. Like the other ladies here, I sometimes get comments that I’m so lucky I’m married to a white guy or that I wouldn’t be successful if I’m not in the States. It really makes me wonder what kind of thinking these people have. While I would say Im grateful for my loving husband and for all the opportunities before me, I don’t think I’m I’ll fated if I am in the Philippines or If I happened to be married to a Filipino instead. To me luck is the combination of hardwork and persistence, wherever you are and whatever circumstance you have. I grew up from a less privileged family, I was raised to be independent, I funded my own education. With a little help from my relatives of course, but mainly worked for everything. With these experience,I came to believe that wherever I’ll go, I can thrive.

    1. I agree with you Flo! I love what you said – luck is combination of hardwork and persistence, wherever you are and whatever circumstance you have. I can feel how independent and smart you are! I hope all women out there will feel empowered this way!! You’re awesome!!!

  155. I feel ya! I’ve been judged by some really idiotic Filipinos just because I’m seeing a white man and prefer dating Western/English men over Filipino men. My man is an American and my very first boyfriend (and hopefully, my last, too!). I met him online, on Oh My Japan (well guess, we’re both nuts about Japan!). We’ve only known each other for almost a year and plan to meet sometime this year. I guess I can understand why other Filipinos think I’m only with him for his looks and money since they’re plain idiots. But guess what? We’re only both 20! Where will he get money to support me? From his parents’ pockets? Not likely. I work here in Taiwan and he works there in US so that’s saying something, right? That’s why it pisses me off when other Filipinos suggest I ask money from him. Hello! I’m with him not because he drives a freaking car and his family has money (and take note, his FAMILY’S money, NOT HIS), but because I love him and he loves me. We already have so many plans (like going to Japan and living there permanently, getting married and having little munchies of our own) and we intend to make it happen. I’m going to meet his parents, he’s going to meet mine (heck, he even wants to meet my close relatives!). So to those who judge us Filipinas dating foreigners, you can all shove your envious judgements up your butts. Maybe you’re just all envious ’cause God deemed us worthy of these wickedly handsome and loving Adonis, who understand us well. Hah, take that witches! Lol. Good luck with all your travels, Ms BZFLAG. xx

    By the way, this is my man. Isn’t he gorgeous? *blushes* Of course, I know you’d say yours is way more “gargeuss” but hey, he’s your man not mine. Ha ha!

    1. Oh Ellaine, gwapo!!! Well, you;re beautiful too so you both deserve each other!! I’m so excited for your adventures together, can you update me soon? =)

  156. I grew up in the middle east and tons of my friends’ parents were half Filipina/o or Indonesian or what have you.

    One of my friends mum is always always dressed to the nines when she goes out with her American husband. One day I asked why she wears heels to the grocery and she told me that people treat her like his maid if she doesn’t dress up. Like yell at her to bag his groceries. I never thought about it that way at all. There are so many misconceptions out there. Another one of my friends used to get teased by this kid in our class who would say that her dad found her mum in a brothel and ‘bought’ her. Yuck- What a creep kid.

    Love this post though. Good for you for not shying away from the misconceptions!
    Also I’m going to the Philippines tomorrow for 25 days 🙂

    1. Danni, I agree with you, sad reality! I lived in Kuwait for 4 years and I tried to always make sure I looked presentable wherever i go, so branded clothes etc! That’s the sad mentality! =( Enjoy your 25 days vacation!! Where are you going?

      1. We start in Coron to dive, and then Manila, Bacolod and Danjugan Island for a marine camp, Siargao Island, and Bohol! I’m so so excited.

        I’m a little worried about the rain/flooding in Bohol but I’m so so jazzed. I’ve always wanted to visit.

        1. Aww!! You’ll have a great time!! If you’ll have a write up, please let me know!! i would love to share it to our readers!!

      2. hi BZFLAG i’m working here in Kuwait for over 3years now, met my bf online and decided to meet up after a few months of chatting. he loves my outspoken independent fiery nature, and i love how he clings to my every word, never missing a beat. we get on really well surprisingly. you know what it’s like here in Kuwait, they think all filipinas are gold diggers we get stares-sharp ones with fangs, lol ! everytime we go out together, from all nationalities including filipinos. there was even a time where some bystanders literary stopped talking and pointed at us while we were passing them. and i got a really hard look from one filipino.

    2. That’s how people judge, the looks. t’s upsetting for some filipina because philippines is too rude and mean. I go out sometimes with filipino friends, and they will usually think it’s my driver or maids. If your a foreign looking person they will always think your rich especially if your good looking and they always think your poor if your not pretty or handsome. Even one of my ex employer before who happens to be filthy rich filipina some people think she is poor because of her look, she is brown and small and fat with flat nose, and the funny thing is they always mistake me as the boss or the rich daughter of someone going out with my maid. Even if my boss is already wearing very expensive clothes. Even her maids told me one time “our boss is ugly even if she is rich she don’t look like rich” that’s what they told me. I just don;t get it, I mean being ugly or ordinary doesn’t really make you poor does it? and some beautiful and handsome people can also be poor. I know a lot of ugly ordinary looking people that are filthy rich. I guess people here in philippines are just too obsess with beauty and they hate seeing ugliness maybe they can;’t evn look at themselves lols. i just think people should stop minding other people and just be busy with their jobs. That’s the biggest problem here in philippines, they always are brutal and judgmental and big mouth. ANd by the way if you are good looking and you wear fake jewelries and fake clothes they will assume it’s very expensive, but if you are ugly or ordinary looking they assume it’s all fake. Sometimes i really wanna laugh so hard when they think I am wearing expensive things, well actually I don’t it’s all fake. And sometimes it’s just stupid cheap ugly clothes anyways, they will even copy me and try to find the same looking clothes and later on will be disappointed coz it doesn’t look good on them ha ha. . but honestly looks can be deceiving really. I am not rich anymore i am out of my dads place and have been on my own, i’m not rich and my parents money is not mine and nothing to do with my life. People are just too small minds and they always judge how you look. But there are many rich people that are actually not good looking they are just too stupid to think ugly means poor. All kinds of race and all kinds of looks have poor and rich people, it’s just too stupid to think only good looking can be rich, or they assume if they will have a pretty daughter it will automatically be famous and be an actress ha ha. Besides people always hate the ugly actress but actually you cannot possibly make a story or a movie if everyone are all good-looking and the movie will just be weird. everyone’s character is important in a movie so it’s not okay if there is no variety. people are just too crazy to always want everything and everyone to be beautiful. Philippines is too judgmental and have so many weird judgement on others that’s why most don’t really improved on their lives because they always spend time gossiping and talking about other people’s lives and looks.

  157. If I have not met my handsome dashing loving young American husband, I’m pretty sure, I’d be an old maid. I was sent to the U.S. by my previous company on a business trip. I got the ten year tourist visa, After the trip, I stayed with the company for almost four years, just working not dating because being with a Filipino guy is just not my luck. Until the same company has to let us go because, the client we’re handling was sold to another company. To break the monotony of looking for a job yet again after being stable, I decided to use my free time to visit a friend in the US. She is also married to a white guy. While in the US, I met my husband. Thanks to Internet dating and God and my previous company to have paved the life I have now. I was probably desperate because I am with my white man but that desperation, I Thank God for, because my life in the US, with the exception of my mom,dad siblings, dogs, nieces and nephews still in the Philippines, No accessible cheap Filipino fresh hot foods that you can buy just by walking down the street and cold unbearable below zero winter, is 1000 times much better than in the Philippines.

    1. Mary Jane, you’re an intelligent woman so I believe whatever you have now is what you definitely deserve in life! I’m so impressed with it! I love the internet too, Jon and I kept in touch online!! =)

      1. Thank you! I can say the same thing to you too. Your travels seem so much fun! Who wouldn’t love to travel, anyway. And also, definitely good genes when mixed.

  158. As a young woman who always seen with an older white man,I’m being judge horribly like I’m a hooker or something.But the moment i open my mouth it always shocked them because they dont expect me to be a very educated one.Yes he got attracted with my looks,but that was 5yrs ago when we first met.What makes him fall inlove with me is my good personality.I never ask money from him,there are times that me & my family have to support him because he needs it.People dont see it,because they are ignorant & close minded,they always thought its about money and security.But who cares what they think,we love each other and we are happy and thats all that matters.

    1. That’s another misconception Michelle! You’re definitely right. who cares diba? Just positive vibes!!! =)

  159. Great article. Pero di natin maitanggi na maramI sa kababayan natin na totoo Yung naisulat talaga ang habol, sila Yung mga sumisira sa imahen ng filipina sa ibang bansa. Kakapit nlng kahit kanino para Maka Pag stay… Pero Hindi nman lahat..

  160. There could be a thousand reasons for a Filipina to fall in love with a foreigner. I am 23 years old. I met my Dutch boyfriend thru a female friend whom he chats with on Skype. My friend and I were supposed to apply to get our license as nurses, but when I went to her house, she wasn’t ready yet. She asked me to talk to a new found friend from an Asian dating site and at first I was just being nice so I talked to him while my friend was taking her shower. In the middle of our conversation, he asked me if he can also talk to me on Skype some other time as he finds it fun to talk to a lot of people. I casually said yes without giving my Skype name on that same day. 5 days later I was surprised to get an invitation to be added on his Skype s. He asked me if I could still remember him and I said “of course”. Skype talks turned into long text messages, into phone calls into expensive phone bills. hahahha…I fell in love with him because of his wit, his ideals and by the way he looks at me and respects me. I always tell people that he’s not rich because a lot of people stereotype foreigners as someone who’s always well off. I fell in love with how he annoyingly proves his point regarding my difficulty to speak up for myself or overworking at the office. Lastly, I fell in love with him for accepting me as I am, with all the flaws and the mood swings. <3
    PS: Make him count from 1-10 in Bicol dialect and he can fluently say it + a few more Bicolano phrases. 🙂

    1. I agree with Skype, I’ve met Jon for only 2 days then we kept in touch online – skype, , chat! hahaha! Love your story girl!! =)

    1. Thanks Edessa, if you read our other articles. it;s definitely about me /us as it’s our personal website, it’s about our life and travels. Thanks for reading anyway po! =)

  161. Yay! Natapos ko ring basahin ito! 🙂 Anyway, I couldn’t agree more. Logically speaking with the help of my experiences in life, as a mother, as “foreigner’s” Filipina wife and as an English teacher here in China! Natumbok mo, Ning! Ako naman, I met my hubby online. I was working in an import-export company in the Phils. (after I resigned from teaching out of boredom) then part of my job is to check our company’s emails. One day, saw a dating ad (yahoo) clicked it, joined and the rest is history. After 2 years of chatting, he went to the Phils. (on his way to China to teach) we got engaged (I didn’t know he was going to propose) Now, after a decade, we are blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy, happy, smart and silly little girls, Lucy and Alex.

    P.S.
    I’m attaching a photo that reminded me of why I love teaching! 🙂 (I have been teaching since I was 14 years old)

    1. Ate, I kept in touch with Jon online too!! So thankful with technology!! =) I love the picture!! Awesome!! Really love your story!!! =)

      1. Yep, technology is great! Thanks for the compliment! Cheers!

        Off to my part-time job now. Para may maipakain sa mga junakis! 🙂

  162. Thumbs up…same ideology here…
    I’ll be with my special someone all the way from Germany soon ..will be diving the Philippines more .Lot more islands to discover out of 7107. The yoga resort is more than a brilliant idea, I have the same idea too incorporating our island dive resort plan.

    I like your idea of an independent woman ,strong and empowered .
    kudos BZFLAG 😉

  163. I love this article! Every item listed rings true. I think the stereotype is more perpetuated in our home country. Normally, North Americans and Europeans don’t give a fcuk where their lady loves are from. And hail to independent women! 🙂

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